A Very Nick And Jess Thanksgiving
by penname JC
Summary: Nick planned for five days alone in the loft, but when Jess ends up staying with him their relationship will never be the same.


**A/N—This is a story in which the kiss in "Cooler" never took place. **

**Obviously I don't own New Girl or the characters. Thanks for reading. This is my first fanfiction. Okay, you guys successfully talked me into putting this back up. Huge thanks to MayaLala who edited and pretty much talked me off the ledge the whole time I was working on this story. I pulled it because I couldn't find the right ending. That hasn't changed, so I will work on it and put it up as soon as the inspiration hits me. Sorry about that. Thanks for liking this story. You guys are awesome. Also, for those of you who don't remember or who haven't read this before, there are some M chapters. I marked them, but beware, please. And, I have a terrible potty mouth, so there is also some rough language. Thanks for reading and supporting me~ JC  
**

"Do you think he is going to be alright on his own?" Schmidt and Winston were whispering back and forth while swallowing down the last of their breakfasts.

"Seriously, guys? You need to learn how to whisper. And, stop worrying. This is better than fine. This is perfect. Five days by myself. I am going to watch football naked while eating cereal." Nick smiled as he approached the guys sitting at the dining room table.

Winston cocked an eyebrow towards Nick and responded, "Look, man, why don't you just come home with me? Being alone for Thanksgiving just isn't right."

"Winston, I really appreciate it, but this is where I want to be. Christmas is right around the corner. Jamie's wedding is in a few months. And, my Mom's house is my nightmare right now. Too many people. Too much craziness."

Winston nodded. He knew that his Father's death had been rough on Nick. It had been even worse for Nick's family. Nick's Mom called daily now. It was hard because Nick always just looked like he wanted to escape. Maybe this would be a nice break for him?

"Alright, Nick. It's understandable. But, remember, I am just a phone call away." Winston went to hug Nick, who pushed him away with a disgusted look.

"Get outta here with that stuff. I'll see you when you get back."

"Nick, I expect this place to remain clean and well cared for in my absence. Also, please refrain from inviting your random bar flunkies, strippers and prostitutes into my abode."

"Yeah, Schmidt. Whatever you say." Nick had stopped listening. "Have a good Thanksgiving with Elizabeth's family."

"Thank you, Nick. I am already dreading the calories that I will have to consume there. Schmidty will have to get his workout on as soon I return. My focus will need to be on my body and not getting this place back into working order. Seriously, Nick, none of your crazy antics while we're gone. And, stay out of my hair products and lotions."

"You got it, Schmidt." Nick was just rolling his eyes and counting the seconds until he would be Schmidt-free for five whole days. It sounded like heaven. Nick would actually have alone time. He could do whatever he wanted, didn't have to listen to anyone, talk to anyone or think about anything he didn't want to. A little vacation from reality sounded really good after the past couple of months.

As Winston and Schmidt lugged their suitcases through the front door, Nick let out a sigh of relief and plopped down on the couch with remote in hand. _This is the life_ he thought as he sunk down into the cushions and flipped the station to ESPN. As he reached for his beer he was startled by the front door flying open.

"What did you guys forget?" Nick asked turning toward the sound. His eyes grew large and his brows furrowed as Jess threw one of her bags into the front hallway. Nick slowly closed his eyes as the words _What now?_ echoed through his head.

Making the Best of It

"Aah, what the hell, Jess?" Nick moaned while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"My Mom cancelled on me. Can you believe it?" Jess answered sounding both frustrated and distracted. Pulling on her second, over-stuffed bag, she made it all the way into the loft and closed the door. Nick was standing now. Jess peered up and noticed the annoyed look on his face. Closing her eyes, trying to bite back the tears that had started to flow after being rejected by her Mom, Jess lowered her gaze to the floor.

"I won't get in your way, but I really don't have anywhere else to go. My Mom decided to go on a cruise with some of her cat club friends at the last minute. My Dad is visiting some of his lodge buddies. Cece went to her parents' house. Things are still rough there after that whole wedding fiasco. And, since Sam and I broke up a few weeks ago, this is really the only place I can go. Please don't make this any harder than it already is."

Nick's hand moved up his face and gripped his forehead pulling his skin into a wrinkled point. Gritting his teeth and stuffing his hands into his pockets, Nick just nodded. What else could he do? It was her home too. Dammit. When was life gonna cut him some slack? There was no way he could make this any harder on Jess. Her blue eyes were clouded over with hurt.

"Jess, it's fine. Do you want some help with your bags?" Nick gritted out, trying to be helpful. But the annoyance he felt was evident in his tone. It wasn't just a ruined holiday that had thrown him. The thought of being alone with Jess for five days had him shaking in his boots. He had become a master of playing off the tension between them, but without Winston, Schmidt, or work, Nick had no buffer. It would be all Jess—alone for five days. He sighed audibly. How was he going to maneuver this? He balled up his fists at his side.

"Don't bother, Nick. I'll take care of it." Jess said tugging on the bags while storming into her room. _Why do I let him upset me like this? Why does he get to me like this? _Her heart pounding, partly from dragging her heavy luggage and partly from anger, Jess sat down on her bed placing her head in her hands. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Shit." Nick breathed lowly. Letting out a sigh and biting his bottom lip, he just shook his head and took a swig of his beer. This was going to be a long fucking five days.

A little while later, a pajama-clad Jess emerged from her room. Refusing to even glance in Nick's direction, she focused intently on the path to the kitchen. This day had been horrible enough without a Nick blow-out on top of everything else. Jess could feel him watching her from the couch. Deeply sighing, "This place is too small sometimes," Jess stated under her breath.

Nick continued to look in the kitchen's direction. Guilt had overtaken him about three minutes after Jess had slammed her bedroom door. Instead of going to Jess and apologizing, Nick decided to have four more beers and try to forget the whole thing. Sure, he had been annoyed. And, yes, Jess has had a very hard time of it lately. But, his life wasn't a barrel of roses either. Truth be told, Nick had been looking forward to this alone time for a month. He needed it. So, maybe he wasn't as friendly or accommodating as he could've been when she arrived back at the loft. But, Jess had caught him off guard. Nick continued to try to justify his actions while the guilt continued to churn in his gut. Scratching the back of his head, Nick gingerly approached the kitchen. "Hey, Jess, you hungry?"

Jess turned toward Nick. Taking in his sorrowful countenance from behind her glasses, Jess twitched her nose a little and quietly answered, "a little." Nick continued to walk toward her. Trying to construct a proper apology in his mind, he closed his eyes to concentrate. Looking at her brilliant blue eyes made it impossible to even think sometimes. Giving up, Nick decided to pretend like their argument had never happened. It had become their go-to move recently. Turning up his mouth into a little grin Nick asked, "So, what do ya wanna eat?" Jess bit her bottom lip into a smile. "Well, I was thinking about that. I would be good with a pizza for tonight. But…well, for tomorrow clearly we can't do a turkey this last minute. But, ummmm…what would you think about having a taco bar?

"What the hell is a taco bar?" Nick's mouth turned back down.

An animated and overly excited Jess explained, "We can put out some tortillas and taco shells. Then, we can have different meats and toppings for the tacos. It isn't a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but it sounds good to me. What do you think? Are you up for it, Nick?" Jess braced for his disapproval.

Nodding, Nick answered, "That actually sounds good, Jess. And, not too complicated."

"You don't have to sound so surprised, Nick."

"Oh, come on, Jess. Between dead neighbors, violin-playing yahoos and parent traps, our Thanksgivings have been anything but simple over the past couple of years. I want simple. Football. Finger foods. Beer. That is my Thanksgiving plan this year."

"Well, I…" Jess took a step back and looked Nick over. She really had put him through hell the past two years. Her mouth turned up into a huge smirk as she internally decided to make it up to him this year. This would be the best Thanksgiving Nick Miller had ever had. She would make sure of that.

Jess ventured out to the grocery store after dinner. She had everything planned out. As she carefully checked things off her list, Jess looked up to see a familiar face. "Wow. Paul. Fancy meeting you here." Well, this was awkward. Jess hadn't actually seen Paul Genslinger since she had helped him propose to his girlfriend. When the invitation to the wedding had arrived, everyone at the loft agreed it would just be too weird to go. Now, Paul and his blushing bride were standing in front of Jess on the baking aisle. "So, how are you guys?" Jess asked, eyeing the pie filling behind them.

"We're good. Both loving work and married life," Paul boasted. "And, Jenn here is about five months along."

Jess looked back at his face and then to his wife's burgeoning belly then back to Paul with a wide, genuine smile. "Oh, congratulations. That is just so wonderful. Looks like you have a lot to be thankful for this year."

"So, how about you, Jess? How are things going? I was so sorry to hear that you had been laid off." Paul continued.

"Oh, well, yeah. That was hard. But, I actually got another teaching job last year, so that is great." Rolling her eyes up to the ceiling, Jess hoped the conversation would just end.

"And, what are you up to for Thanksgiving this year?" Another question from Paul. _Will this never end?_

"Nick and I are just going to have a quiet Thanksgiving at the loft." She answered, pulling out her list hoping he would notice that she still had things to do and move on. Alas, no.

"So, you two finally got together. I always thought there was something between you and Nick."

Jess looked up startled and confused. "No. No. We aren't. I mean, we have never… I'm not with Nick." The words tumbled out of her mouth ending in a quiet and sad whisper. Jess could feel the blush tint her cheeks. Was she that obvious even back then? "Listen, Paul, it was really good to see you, but I need to finish up my shopping. Congrats again. How great for you guys." Jess pushed her cart ahead while looking at the floor. She would come back for the pie filling.

"Hey, good to see you too, Jess. Happy Thanksgiving." Turning to his wife, Paul grimaced. "I hope I didn't say the wrong thing."

Biting the inside of her mouth, Jess finished her shopping trip trying to focus on anything but what Paul had said. Who cares if he is happily married? Who cares if he is having a baby? Who cares if she is alone. On Thanksgiving. Without anyone who really loves her? Who cares? Jess made a U-turn for the ice cream aisle.

Arriving back home with bags and bags of groceries, Jess noticed that Nick was nowhere to be found. Guess he is asleep already. Well, that will just make my job easier. Jess set about putting her plan into action.

**Thanksgiving Day**

Nick squinted his eyes open. He was expecting to hear Jess singing show tunes or the sounds from the parade blaring in the living room. But, it was after 10, and everything was almost eerily quiet. Throwing on a shirt and some jeans, he made his way out into the hallway. As he rounded the corner, Nick noticed a blue cooler sitting on the floor next to the couch. Opening the cooler he found more than a dozen Heislers packed in ice. Glancing around the room, Nick spotted a bowl of chips and a tray of chicken wings placed on the coffee table, the TV remote sandwiched between them. Just then, her door swung open. "Jess, what is all this?"

"It's your Thanksgiving. Football. Finger foods. Beer. Simple."

"Wait, you did all of this for me?" Suddenly Nick felt not only speechless but breathless. Why would she go to all of this trouble for him? His eyes travelled over her tiny frame. Jess was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail. She even dressed simply for him. A giant smile spread across his face. "This is seriously incredible." It slipped out before he could filter himself. Trying to recover, "High five, Jess." He smiled into her eyes as their palms met.

Jess mirrored back his smile, elated that she had been able to make Nick happy. "So, I have pancakes and bacon ready to go. Are you ready to start your perfect Thanksgiving?"

"Absolutely. Let's do this, Jess." Nick settled into the couch and turned on the TV. After finishing a large breakfast, tons of snacks, several tacos and drinking almost an entire cooler of beers, Jess and Nick were still smiling. They were stuffed full of food and happily chatting about the football game.

"Why does that turkey have four legs?" Jess asked, her forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"It is just a Thanksgiving day tradition. They give the legs to the best players." He smiled his biggest toothy grin. Jess was really trying to get into this.

"Hmmm…" Jess distracted by his smile—her favorite of his smiles. "So, wait…do they actually eat those things? They have been sitting out for the whole game. They should at least warm the turkey legs up for them. I mean, it is their reward, right?" Nick just shook his head and laughed. Jess loved it when Nick was like this—so carefree and easy. She looked into his brown eyes. He really looked happy. She felt a little flutter in her chest.

"Hey, thanks for watching the game with me. And, thanks for doing all this. This is the best Thanksgiving I have ever had." Pulling his hand off the back of the couch and resting it on her shoulder, Jess felt herself shudder a little.

"Are you cold, Jess?"

"Ummm…yeah. I must be. I'll go get a sweater. Jess hurried into her room closing the door behind her_. Get it together, Day. He just touched your shoulder_. Jess grabbed a sweater, took a couple of deep breaths and headed back for the couch.

Clothed in a pale yellow cardigan, Jess made her way back to the couch. As she approached him, she couldn't help but notice how calm Nick looked. His forehead relaxed, eyes fixed on the TV, mouth curled into a gentle smile. "Ouch. Dammit. Dammit." She had been so focused on watching Nick that she forgot to watch where she was going.

"What? What's wrong?" Nick looked and sounded alarmed.

"I stubbed my toe on your stupid shoes. Why are they just sitting in the middle of the floor?"

"I don't know, Jess. Why the hell aren't you watching where you are going?" Nick saw her wince in pain as she hopped back to the sofa. "Let me see it."

"No." Jess refused to even look in his direction. She had pulled her knee into her chest and was tightly gripping her foot. _Seriously, who leaves their shoes in the middle of the floor?_

"Jessica, let me see your damn foot now." He reached over and grabbed her foot, pulling it towards his lap. Her pinky toe was red and a little swollen. Slowly and gently, Nick began to caress and massage her foot. Jess drew in an uneven breath, partly from the pain and partly from the shock of his touch. Nick methodically rubbed around the toe trying to alleviate her pain. "Is that any better?" Jess just blinked at him, unable to form a thought. Nick continued to carefully knead her foot. Sliding his hand from her toe up to her ankle and settling on her calf, Nick glanced up. His breath caught in his throat as he took her in-mouth slightly open, cheeks flushed, eyes hooded and intently gazing at him. Taking a deep breath while removing his hand, "I'm going to get you some ice to help with the swelling." Returning with the ice and placing it on her injured foot, "You just relax. I am going to go clean up a bit."

Snapping back to reality Jess answered, "Who are you and what have you done with Nick Miller?"

"Yeah. You're hilarious, Jess. Just sit there and let me do this."

As he stalked off to the kitchen, Jess ran her hand from her toe to her calf. She could still feel the tingle of his touch on her skin. She closed her eyes and tried to shake off the sensation. Meanwhile, Nick stood in the kitchen gripping the sink and internally scolding himself. _What were you thinking, Miller? _He willed himself to calm his breathing. He let go of the sink and ran his hand through his hair. _Even her feet are beautiful. _Slapping his cheeks, he turned on the faucet and tried to focus on the task at hand.

Finishing up the last of the dishes Nick called over to see if Jess was doing any better.

"How's the toe."

"Much better. Thanks for the ice. I…I am fine now." Jess looked up at Nick through her long black lashes. His heart began pounding in his chest again.

"Glad to hear it. I think I'm gonna call it a night."

"No. Wait." Jess panicked. She hadn't unveiled the best part of the night yet. "So, I know we said we wouldn't have a traditional Thanksgiving, but I have a little surprise."

Slightly afraid Nick asked, "Okay, Jess, let's have it. What did you do?"

"I'll go get it. Stay here." She called while hobbling into the kitchen. Nick sat back down on the couch.

After a beat, Jess was back standing directly in front of Nick, her arms hidden behind her back, clearly hiding something. She swayed from side to side, eyebrows raised, mouth in a pouty smirk. "Do you wanna guess what I have behind my back?"

Nick decided to pay along. Jess had gone to a lot of trouble to make this day perfect for him, and he wanted to do something in return. Plus, she just looked so damned adorable and proud of herself swaying in front of him. He resisted the urge to reach up and grab her hips. Instead he answered, "I don't know, Jess. Give me a hint."

"Well, it's yummy."

Jess had used her throatiest voice_. Is she flirting with me? No way. She is just trying to be cute._

"Did you make cupcakes?" He figured this was a foregone conclusion.

Biting back a smile and shaking her head, Jess answered, "Nope. Try again."

Nick cocked up his eyebrow and twisted his mouth into a pensive line.

"Okay, did you bake a cake?"

"Really, Nick? It's Thanksgiving. One more try. If you don't guess it then I get to eat it all by myself."

Jess was leaning towards him as she spoke. Everything about her posture, her voice and the look on her face was seductive to him. She wasn't trying to be sexy. She didn't have to try. Part of him wanted this game to go on forever. The other part needed it to end immediately. This is what he had been worried about—no buffer. And, ever since he touched her skin all he could think about was how he never wanted to stop touching her skin. _So soft._ Suddenly, it clicked.

"Jess, did you bake a pie?"

"Why, yes, Nicholas, I baked a pie. An apple pie. I know it is supposed to be pumpkin, but I like apple better. Plus, I didn't want to have to go back to the baking aisle for pie filling after I ran into Paul and his wife. So…"

"Wait, you ran into Paul—as in Paul Genslinger?" Nick sounded both amused and annoyed.

"Yes. And, it was awkward. And, his wife is pregnant. And, he went on and on about how wonderful his married, pregnant life is." Jess knew she was exaggerating, but that was how it felt. Mostly, she just felt alone. Even she could hear how bitter she sounded. Nick picked up on it too.

"That is gonna be one weird, ugly-crying kid. Let's have some pie."

Jess grinned at Nick, grateful for the change in subject. Jess sliced two pieces of pie and piled on some whip cream. Their pieces were gone in three or four bites.

"This is so good, Jess. I want more." Nick made his way to the kitchen

"Ummmm…me too. Just bring the whole pie," Jess called after him.

Jess spooned some whip cream onto the middle of the pie, and she and Nick dug in savoring every morsel.

"So, Genslinger is having a kid?"

"Huh. Don't remind me."

"What? Are you jealous?"

"No. I just…He has it so together. I mean, he is happily married, with a great job and a baby on the way. What do I have? A pie."

"It's a really good pie, Jess."

She let out a little laugh. Smiling over at her, Nick let out a little chuckle. "You have whip cream on your nose."

Her eyes growing large and a laugh falling from her lips, Jess swatted at the tip of her nose. Nick just shook his head. She had managed to smear the whip cream from her nose to her cheek. He reached over and wiped the cream away with his knuckle. Jess could feel her breath catch in her chest. They both felt the atmosphere change and charge around them. She looked up and allowed her gaze to meet his. He swallowed, his eyes fixed upon hers. Rising from the couch, he took his plate into the kitchen and brought her a paper towel. "Here. This will help. I am going to get some sleep. Thanks for today, Jess. Best Thanksgiving I've ever had." His voice was husky and low.

Jess mumbled, "You're welcome," and watched as Nick walked down the hallway and into his room. _Well, that was uncomfortable. _She placed her fork into the pie tin, set the tin on the coffee table and, still confused, headed to her room.

**Movie Magic**

**A/N I just want to thank everyone for being so kind and encouraging. I was super nervous about writing this, but you have all made me feel so much better about this. Also a big thank you to MayaLala for encouraging me to do this in the first place and helping me along the way. You're the best!**

Rolling over Jess tried to focus on the giant red numbers on her alarm clock. _11:15, seriously? I was more tired than I thought. _She slid out of bed and tied her pink robe over her blue and white striped pajamas. Her plan was to quietly sneak into the kitchen, grab some breakfast and hide out in her room for the rest of day. After Nick's quick exit last night, Jess didn't want to risk another awkward interaction. Gingerly opening the door, she padded quietly into the kitchen.

"Jess, you're awake."

"Ahhh" Jess screamed and jumped in the air. She hadn't seen Nick, so his voice not only surprised her but scared her a little. _Damn. She was caught._

"Yep. I'm awake. Just going to grab some breakfast." Her tone was clipped.

"Well, I got all of this set up for us." Jess turned toward the living room, perplexed. On the coffee table she spied a pile of movies and a bowl of popcorn. Her favorite movie-watching blanket was even draped across the arm of the couch.

"What is all of this?" Jess couldn't internalize what she saw.

"Movie day. I mean, I thought maybe we could have a movie day." Nick's voice started to trail off. He was starting to feel foolish. He had wanted to do something nice for Jess after all of the effort she had put into yesterday. This was probably a mistake though. She was looking at him like he was on fire.

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, Jess knit her eyebrows up and tried, once again, to figure out what Nick was up to. Nick didn't like movies. He always made a terrible fuss anytime she asked him to watch anything with her. And, last night he had practically sprinted away from her, so why was he suddenly so keen to spend the day by her side watching sappy movies that he hates? _This makes no sense_. The worst bit was part of her honestly didn't care why he was doing it. Jess wanted to spend the day watching movies, eating popcorn and talking to Nick. But, what if he just walked away again?

Jess took a deep breath and a big chance, "So, what are we watching first?"

Relieved, Nick smiled and answered, "How about 'Charade'? I haven't seen this one."

Jess raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Sure. We can watch 'Charade'." Jess took off her robe and nestled into the couch, trying to get comfortable. She was still puzzled about this whole situation. Nick plopped down next to her as the DVD started up. Using one hand to cover herself with the blanket, Jess reached for the popcorn with the other. _Popcorn for breakfast. This is a weird day. _Nick took the bowl from her and placed it on his lap. He was close enough that she could just reach over and grab some whenever she wanted.

"Walter Matthau is amazingly cool." Nick turned to look at Jess as the movie ended. They had sat through the entire movie without speaking or looking at each other.

Jess looked at Nick incredulously, "You liked Walter Matthau in this? You do realize he was the bad guy, right?"

"Yeah, but he was a cool bad guy."

"Sure. Well, I've always really like Walter Matthau, so I can't argue with you there. He's sort of my ideal guy."

"Really?" Nick's mouth screwed up into a grimace.

"I love him in Grumpy Old Men. Do you want to watch that one next?"

"Sure, I'm game. But, don't start drooling over the old guy while we're watching, okay?"

"I make no promises. I mean, look at those ears. So swoon-worthy."

"Swoon-worthy?" Nick raised his eyebrows.

"Absolutely." Jess looked straight ahead with a playful grin. It felt like things were normal again. Some of last night's tension had dissipated. It was a relief. It felt like she had been sort of holding her breath all morning. Jess relaxed back into the couch, let her blanket fall to her lap and actually started to enjoy the day.

Halfway through the movie Nick turned to Jess, "We need to pause for a minute. I want to make some more popcorn. I'm starving."

"Maybe we should just have some lunch?" Jess suggested. "Leftovers?"

"Sounds good." Nick pressed pause and stretched as he rose from the couch. Jess felt her eyes watching him and wanted to turn away but she couldn't. And, just like that, the tension had returned.

They walked into the kitchen. Jess started pulling containers out the fridge while Nick grabbed the plates. There was a ton of taco stuff left over from Thanksgiving. Jess began setting out all of the toppings while Nick rewarmed the meat in the microwave. Jess reached over to grab a plate just as Nick reached over to place the hot bowl of meat on the counter. She ran her arm directly into the hot bowl and, shocked, let out a little squeal. "Oh, God, Jess…" Nick grabbed her and pulled her toward the sink. Turning on the cold water, Nick held Jess' arm under the cold water as her eyes closed tightly in pain. Her legs bounced as the cold water slowly began to relieve the sting of the burn. "I didn't see you. I am so sorry."

"No, Nick. I was my fault. I wasn't watching." Jess spoke through clenched teeth then sucked in another deep breath as the cold water continued to pour over her arm. "We have some burn cream in the first-aid kit."

"Okay. Keep your arm under the water, and I will go grab it." Nick ran into the bathroom and was back with the ointment in an instant. "Come sit down." Nick and Jess sat down at the dining room table. He carefully dried her arm with a towel. With her arm laid out on the table, Nick winced seeing the red welt rising up from her pale skin. "I am going to put this on you now, okay?" He looked to Jess for confirmation. She quickly nodded. Their eyes locked for a moment. He held her hand with his left hand while gingerly applying the ointment with his right hand. Continuously looking from her arm to her face to monitor the pain level, Nick finished and placed a bandage over the burn.

"If you keep this up there will be nothing left by the end of the weekend." Jess looked up at Nick confused. "You know—first your toe and now your arm."

"Oh." Jess nodded. She wanted to focus on what he was saying, but all she could think about was the electricity shooting up her arm from Nick still holding her hand. She glanced from their hands to his eyes then back down to their hands. Realizing that he hadn't let her go, Nick released her hand and sat back in the chair.

"Should we try this whole food thing again?" Nick asked while trying to shake the pulsing sensation still tingling through his fingers. _Holding her hand felt so natural_.

"Yep. I am good now. Thanks, Nick. I will watch what I'm doing." Her voice barely above a whisper, Jess couldn't pry her eyes away from Nick's. They sat and looked at one another for almost a minute before he broke the gaze and headed back to the kitchen.

After lunch, Nick and Jess settled back onto the couch to finish their movie marathon. But, Jess started to get antsy during "Grumpier Old Men."

"This one just isn't as good." Jess complained tucking her feet into her body and turning to face Nick. The tips of her knees were resting on his leg. She started to move but decided against it. She wanted to touch him—_just a little_.

"Do you want to turn this one off and put something else on?" Nick had noticed her knees as well. He shifted a little closer to her.

"What's your favorite movie?" Jess stretched her mouth into a little smile as she asked.

"I don't know. Maybe 'The Deer Hunter'?" Nick laughed as Jess drew her head back in surprise. "What's yours?"

"I think it's probably still 'Dirty Dancing'. But, I like other movies a lot too. I like' Say Anything' and 'Before Sunrise'. Oooo…and I love the A&E version of 'Pride & Prejudice.' It is like six hours long and so great. The costumes are amazing. We could watch that." Nick's eyes widened with panic. Jess laughed super loud and clapped her hands.

"Funny, Jess. You're teasing me. I am trying to do something nice here, and you're teasing me?"

"What. Is this charity for you or something—spending time with me?" Jess mocked offense.

"No, Jess. I didn't mean it like that at all." Nick's voice rang with sincerity and broke Jess' will to pout. She laughed again.

"Seriously, Jess, that's not funny. I really thought you were mad at me." He folded his arms into his chest and turned away from her. Jess, still laughing, tried to turn his body back in her direction by grabbing his arm and pulling him toward her. He was too strong, and she was still laughing too hard.

"Come on, Nick. Don't be mad," she said through laughter. "Nick. Come on, Nick. Stop it." Impulsively, Jess reached forward and started tickling his side. Nick jumped in the air. Jess collapsed into laughter again. Nick rolled his eyes but chuckled quietly in spite of himself. "I saw that. You laughed." Jess poked playfully at his arm and then at his side again.

Nick grabbed both her hands firmly, "No more, Jess. I mean it."

Still amused Jess pulled a serious face and answered in a monotone, deep voice, "Okay, Nick. You mean it." Her smile lit up her face once again. Nick leaned his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. _How can anyone be this adorable? _Nick rolled his head in her direction.

"So what are we gonna do now, Jess?" Their eyes locked.

Jess could feel energy pulsing through her body. The air suddenly felt thick. Nick wasn't looking away. His eyes looked darker and somehow more intense. Nick sat up straight, still focused on her. Jess could feel her heart pounding in her chest. _Say something. Jess, say something_. "Listen, Nick, I was thinking that maybe we need to get out of here. We have been cooped up in this place for two days now. I need fresh air—or at least non-loft air. I'm starting to go stir crazy."

Taken aback and a little disappointed that she wasn't enjoying the day he had planned for her, Nick asked, "Whatta ya got in mind, Jess?" He noticed her unkempt hair falling across her shoulders. His eyes fell on her mouth and lingered for just a moment too long. He watched as her top teeth slowly pulled at her bottom lip. _Stop. Miller, STOP!_

"Maybe we could go out to dinner and then a club?" She smiled an unsure smile in his direction.

"O, God, Jess, no. This is supposed to be my break from idiots and drunks. I hate clubs."

Disappointed, mouth in a pout, "But, you go with the guys sometimes."

"Jess, I go with the guys when I am looking to get laid_." Dammit. I didn't mean to say that. _Shaking his head, after a beat, Nick continued, "That isn't... I don't want to do this." He stood up and turned to look at her. The tension was becoming too much for him. He felt trapped and wanted to run.

"Fine, Nick. Then don't." Jess couldn't figure out why she was so seething angry all of the sudden. She rushed past Nick, clipping his arm on her way to her room.

"Dammit, Jess. You are the most infuriating person." Nick yelled after her. He heard her door slam. Instead of letting things cool down, he stomped to her room opening her door without knocking. Jess was opening drawer after drawer and rifling through paper after paper. "What are you doing?" he asked exasperated.

"I am looking for Sam's number. Cece deleted it from my phone after we broke up, but I know I had it written down somewhere."

"So, now you're just gonna to call Sam?" Nick shrugged his shoulders. He threw his hands up in the air, turning around to walk out but, instead, found himself saying, "Don't call Sam. I will go with you." It was barely above a whisper, but she heard him.

Jess pushed her glasses back up onto the bridge of her nose and exhaled, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. "I'm confused, Nick. I thought you didn't want to go." Arms crossed over her chest, she wasn't going to make this easier for him.

"I don't, Jess, but I'll go if it'll keep you from doing something stupid like calling Sam. Now are we gonna go or what?" Nick rested his fingertips on his temples and began to rub. He was about a second away from losing it altogether.

"Fine. But, you can't spend the whole night complaining. You have to try to have some fun."

"Sure, Jess. Fun." Nick gritted out, lowly. His jaw clenched. _What did I just do?_

**In The Club**

Jess spent two hours getting ready. Her hair curled and make-up done, all Jess had left to do was to find the perfect dress. As she meticulously searched through her closet, a black dress of Cece's caught her eye. Cece had wanted Jess to wear this for her last date with Sam. "Let him see what he will be missing, Jess. Torture him." She couldn't bring herself to do it. The dress was just so short and so tight. But, it might be just the right fit for tonight. Jess pulled it on and studied herself in the mirror. It was just a simple black dress, but it was so tiny that Jess felt almost naked in it. _Do it. Wear it._ She desperately wanted to look amazing. Jess took one last look in the mirror, checking her deep red lipstick, and headed for her bedroom door.

Nick heard the click of heels on the floor, turned around and dropped his bottle of beer. "Jesus, Jess, what the hell are you wearing?" His eyes were wide, mouth dropped open and he kept swallowing air trying to catch his breath. Nick stepped forward and then stepped back again, shaking his head. "You…Why…I think you should change clothes." His stomach was in knots, and despite his best efforts, his pants began to feel tighter and tighter. He bent down to pick up his spilled beer bottle and to regroup_. I can't go out with her dressed like that. I mean, come on. I'm only human. This is ridiculous._ Finally Nick trained his eyes back on Jess and realized he had hurt her. Her eyes glistening with tears and shock registering on her lips, Nick sighed. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He just felt such an overwhelming sense of panic. She looked too good.

"I…Jess, I just meant that you might…" Unable to find the right words, Nick shrugged his shoulders and finished, "You look incredible." Still struggling to regain a steady breath, he walked into the kitchen to recycle his bottle. Jess blinked away her tears and watched Nick as he strolled past her. He was wearing a tight black thermal and dark jeans. She felt a flutter in her stomach_. I've seen him wear this a million times. Why does it make me so…_

"Nick, I don't want to spend my night fighting with you." Jess wiped away her tears while he was still turned away from her.

Walking back to her, Nick nodded. "I was just surprised, Jess. You normally don't wear stuff like that. Let's just go."

Jess, still refusing to move or to give into him, sighed and shook her head.

"Jess, seriously, we should head out if we are going to grab something to eat first. Let's just go." _Why am I trying so hard? I don't even want to go, right?_ Nick pressed his hand against the small of Jess' back trying to usher her forward.

"Fine." Jess shrugged away from his hand, grabbed her purse and they headed out.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Jess sipped pink wine. Nick tried to ignore the fact that all of the men in the room seemed to be staring at Jess. Between the harsh words over Jess' clothes and the fight over going out, anger still hung heavy in the air between them. And, while Jess asked about how Nick was enjoying his meal, they really didn't talk at all. It was awkward and uncomfortable. When the check came, Nick paid. They had agreed that he would pay for dinner. She would pay for the club and cab rides since they both wanted to drink. Jess excused herself to the restroom, and Nick watched her walk down the aisle. Rubbing his hands over his face, he just wanted this night to be over.

Arriving at a club the Cece often frequented, Nick was dreading heading inside. It wasn't just that he hated the whole club scene. There was no way Jess wasn't going to get hit on tonight. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to take it. Spending so much time with her and being so close to her, Nick felt himself fighting a losing battle. He opened the door for her, and they walked directly to the bar.

"Hey, Jess, you want a pink wine?" Nick yelled over the blaring dance music.

"I don't know. I think I want to do a shot." Jess leaned into him also yelling to be heard.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna have to carry you home." This was becoming worst case scenario for Nick. Hot Jess was one thing. Drunk, hot Jess was entirely another. "So, what do you want?"

"I don't know, Nick. Order for me. I want a shot. Do one with me." Nick noticed he was nervously tapping his foot and made an effort to calm himself down. He ordered two tequila shots and a beer. Simple and quick. He turned back to Jess to let her know their shots were ready. She was facing away from him, her body swaying back and forth to the music. His eyes traveled up and down her slender body. A low groan escaped his mouth. He took a couple of deep breaths and placed his hand on her shoulder to get her attention. Startled, she spun around.

"Shots." Nick smiled at her. Jess smiled back. They quickly did their shots. Jess could feel the warm liquid travel down her body and into her belly. Almost immediately her body relaxed. She felt free from all of the tension and anger.

"I want another one." Her face looked so calm and happy. She was grinning at Nick, gazing up at him through her long, thick black lashes. Nick could feel where this was going, and he knew he needed to stop it in its tracks.

"Jess, I think that is a really bad idea. You don't wanna get sick, right? Let me get you some water." Nick turned to get the bartender's attention.

"No, Nick. I want a shot." Jess tilted her head to the side and put on her best baby pout. She was holding onto his arm. Nick tried to ignore the electricity pulsating where her hand lay.

"Seriously, Jess, it is a bad idea." Nick shook his head and set his mouth in a defiant line.

"Okay. You can either get me a shot or dance with me." Jess ran her hands across his chest. "What's it gonna be, Miller?" She had stepped closer to him. Nick could smell her perfume. It was intoxicating. He looked down into her eyes. They were dark blue and cloudy. His gaze travelled to her mouth. She was smiling seductively up at him, her teeth pulling at her bottom lip. "So?"

_Dammit_. He was trapped. Either way he was screwed. He shouldn't have come. He should have just let her call Sam. His pulse was racing. "One more shot, Jess. One" She jumped up and down at her victory.

The bartender brought two more shots, another bottle of beer and a glass of water. Jess could feel the music pulsing through the floor. She made quick work of her shot and turned to look at Nick again. Maybe it was just the lighting or the drinks, but Jess was sure Nick had never looked sexier. His head was tilted back a little as he took a swig of beer. As he pulled the bottle from his lips, Jess noticed a couple of drops lingering just above his top lip. She closed her eyes and imagined running her tongue across his lips. She felt a shudder ripple through her body and lowly groaned, "Oh, God."

"What? Jess, are you okay?" Nick was worried that she was about to get sick.

"Huh?" Jess blinked herself back to reality. "Did you…what?" _Snap out of it. Why can't I stop thinking about him?_

"Jess, did you say something?" Nick was leaning towards her, a look of worry on his face.

"Nah. No. I…No. Hey, we should dance." Jess wanted to shake off all of these thoughts.

"Jess, you gave me a choice. I picked the shot. I'm not dancin'." Nick's lips curled down into a frown as he furiously shook his head.

"Well, I want to dance, so I am going out there with or without you. Maybe someone else will want to dance with me?" Jess looked into his eyes hoping he would fold.

"Be my guest." Nick figured Jess was bluffing. He had been out with her many times before. She never danced alone.

With the help of some liquid courage, Jess walked toward the dance floor without a word_. I'll show him._

Nick set his jaw and cocked his head to the side as he watched her saunter away. _That's great, Miller. Now you get to watch her dance with a bunch of other guys. Good move. _He shook his head in disgust.

His prediction proved correct. As soon as Jess arrived on the dance floor, she had been approached for a dance. Nick gripped the bar, staring daggers at the guy. _H_

_She's not yours, man,_ he reminded himself. He closed his eyes trying to steady his breath. As the song ended, Nick realized he had been holding his breath. He released the air from his lungs and reassured himself that he could make it through this. Then another guy walked over and started dancing with Jess_. Shit. You've got to be kidding me_.

Jess could feel Nick watching her. Part of her really liked it. _Let him watch. Maybe he'll finally realize what he's missing? Wait…no. What am I saying?_ The guy she was dancing with kept inching closer and closer. Jess took a step back and continued dancing. The guy reached forward and grabbed her hips. Jess tried to pull his hands off of her, but he just gripped her tighter. Out of nowhere, Nick was there.

"Yeah, that's not happening, man. Back off now." There was something foreboding in Nick's tone. Jess thought back to Nick's interactions with Remy. He could be so protective. It made her feel safe. He made her feel safe.

"Hey, dude, if you don't want people dancing with your girl then maybe you should be out here with her."

Nick raised an eyebrow, grinding his teeth and took a step toward the guy, who raised his hands in surrender and walked away. Nicked turned his gaze to Jess who was smirking back a laugh. "My hero," she cooed, reaching up and tweaking the tip of his nose with her index finger. Nick's face relaxed a little upon hearing her amused giggle.

He turned and walked back to the bar. "Nick, wait. Aren't you going to dance with me?" Jess was on his heels.

Without turning around Nick called, "I told you no, Jess."

"Fine then. I'm getting another shot." Nick stopped in his tracks and Jess maneuvered around him and headed up to the bar.

"Jess, we agreed. No more. You've had enough. And, I don't want to spend my night holding your hair back."

Nick was surprised to see Jess smiling at him. "You would hold my hair back, Nicholas?" Her face lit up with the words. She didn't know why she was so touched, but she was.

Nick refused to even acknowledge his slip-up. "Jess, we had a deal," he reiterated.

"Let's just call this round 2, Miller. Shot or dance? What will it be?" Jess had her back against the bar. She folded her arms and tapped her foot. If not for her giant grin one might think she was actually impatient, but Nick knew better. She was messing with him. And, God help him, he was falling for it. _How bad could it be? _Nick took a step forward and extended his arm in her direction.

"Let's dance, Jess." She grinned, taking his proffered hand.

As they arrived onto the dance floor, the music changed to a slower song. Nick thought he might recognize the tune. His right hand gripped her tiny waist while his left hand held her hand against his chest. "I think I know this song." He hoped that if they just talked like normal that he would be able to maintain his composure.

"Huh?" Jess strained to hear him.

"I said, I think I know this song." Nick raised his voice a notch.

"Oh, yeah. I know this one too. It's 'Fade Into You' by Mazzy Starr." She called back.

"That sounds right. I always liked this one." _Keep talking, Miller. You can get through this._ Jess had shifted a bit closer to him. Their bodies were so close. And, she kept stroking her thumb up and down on his chest.

"I can feel your heart beating." At her words Nick stopped swaying. Jess slowly ran her hand up and down his chest over his heart. He couldn't pull his eyes from her slightly parted mouth. His stomach lurched as her hand travelled higher and hooked around the back of his neck just below his hairline. She was so close now. Nick wrapped both his arms around her wrapped Jess stretched up onto her tip toes, moving her face closer to the side of his neck. They began to dance to the music again. He could hear her labored breathing and feel her hot breath against his skin. Jess reached up and ran her left hand through his hair. Nick pulled back a little, his scruffy chin brushing against her soft cheek. Locking eyes, Nick knew if he didn't stop this soon he wouldn't be able to. She was so beautiful. And, she wanted him. He could see it in her eyes. How could she want him? _No, Miller. You can't do this. You'll wreck everything_. Swallowing hard, Nick grasped both her shoulders and pushed her away from him.

Jess blinked several times trying to register what had just happened. He wanted her. She could feel how much he wanted her. _Why is he always pushing me away?_ Hurt washed over her. Jess could feel her body begin to tremble as the humiliation set in. Her head was spinning. She wrapped her arms around her stomach trying to hug away the hurt. He was rejecting her. Turning on her heels, she ran through the club and out the front door. Nick was immediately on her heels.

"Jess, where the hell are you going?" Nick was panting, a combination of sprinting after her and the lingering effects of their moments on the dance floor. "Jess," he breathed out again.

"Go away." Her back was to him, but he could see her body shaking.

"Don't cry." His voice was so gentle and full of regret.

Jess swung around and glared at him. It was dark out, but he could feel her hard stare. "You think I'm crying? Over what? You? Ha." She practically spit the words at him. "Don't flatter yourself, Miller."

Nick stumbled backwards, shocked by her blatant anger. His eyes narrowed. He was actually speechless for a moment. "Jess, I just didn't want us to make a mistake we couldn't take back." His voice was soft and reassuring.

"Well, you are right about one thing. It would have been a mistake." She set her jaw still glaring at him. "It would have been the best mistake of your life, but it would've been a mistake."

"You know, Jess, you are just unbelievable. I am trying to do the right thing here." He answered back, his tone filled with frustration. "And, just so you know, Jess, I'm not here to be your drunken rebound." Now he just sounded angry.

His words stung. They wounded her so badly. He thought she was just using him? Nick thought that little of her? She could feel the tears falling down her cheeks now. "Fuck you, Nick." Jess choked out through her tears.

His jaw set as he glared up at her he gritted out, "I guess you didn't get the message, Jess. How many times do I have to turn you down in one night?" Nick wasn't angry anymore. He was furious. Every part of him had wanted to kiss her, touch her, but he stopped because he genuinely cared about her. The one time he does the right thing, and this is what he gets.

Nick's words knocked the wind of Jess. She flinched backwards into a parked car then sank to the ground. Her head in her hands, Nick could hear her sobbing. He had gotten caught up in the moment, shocked and angered by her outrageous words. Filled with regret, he kneeled down next to her wanting to do anything to comfort her.

"Jess, Dammit, I am so sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't. Please look at me. Jess, please." He was desperate.

"Why doesn't anyone want me? What's wrong with me?" Her whispered words pierced his heart. He knew this feeling. He had felt the same way after Caroline.

He sat down on the ground, reached forward and pulled Jess into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. "Jess, talk to me. What is going on? You have been miserable for the past couple of months. Is it because of Sam? What happened?" He was speaking softly into her hair. His hand was stroking her arm.

"What happened with Sam? The same thing that happened with Spencer. He cheated on me. It was some nurse at the hospital. I found out before he told me. She called me. And, I am so pathetic that I didn't want to believe her. But, when I asked him about it, he didn't lie. He just said he wasn't a one woman kind of man." Tears began to flood her cheeks again.

Nick was so mad that he could barely breathe. "That son of a bitch. Jess, he's the one who screwed up. He's the one missing out. You are amazing. You are so beautiful and kind." Jess had turned her head up to look at him. His thumb ran across her cheek wiping away tears.

"Really, Nick? That's pretty hard to believe since you don't want me either." She put her head back onto her knees.

"Jess," Nick started.

"It's fine, Nick," she interrupted. "It isn't your fault. I just feel so alone right now. I feel like no one wants me—not even my parents. I just want to scream because I hurt. I just hurt." Nick felt her body begin to tremble again. His eyes filled with tears. He waited until they subsided. Then, he set her back down on the pavement and stood up.

"Jess, get up. Get up. We're going somewhere. Come on." She peeked up at him wondering where he wanted to go.

"Nick, I don't think I'm up for anything else tonight."

"Well, that's too bad. Either you get up, or I am gonna pick you up." He held his hands out in front of her. Slowly she reached out and took his hands. Her hands and arms were still slick with tears. As she rose from the ground, Nick walked to her side and wrapped his arm around her waist.

As they walked toward the street, Jess asked, "Where are we going?"

Rubbing his hand along her spine Nick answered, "I'm gonna take you somewhere you can scream." He hailed a cab, helped her in and they were off.

**Railroad Spikes & Sunrise**

Nick gives the cabbie the loft address then leans back against the seat.

"We're going home?" Jess is still wiping away tears. Nick reaches over and places his arm protectively around her waist, pulling her to him.

"Well, you can't wear that where we're going. Plus, we will need a car." Jess sniffled a little and rested her head on his shoulder.

Arriving at the loft, Nick paid the cab driver as Jess exited the car. "Oh, wait. Nick, I was supposed to pay for the cab rides."

"Don't worry about it. Let's just get changed and get going." Nick pulled open the front door to the building and ushered her through it. His stomach was still in knots.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" Jess looked tired and so very sad. Her eyes were red and swollen.

"I just need you to trust me." Nick answered as they rode up on the elevator. As they entered the loft he looked over at Jess. His heart sank. She looked broken, and he just wanted to fix her. "Get on some jeans and sneakers. Meet me out here when you're done."

A few minutes later Jess was in comfy clothes and ready to go.

"Are you sure you should be driving? You were drinking tonight too." This had occurred to her while she was changing clothes.

"Trust me, Jessica. I am completely sober right now." Jess nodded. She wouldn't look at him. She couldn't look at him. She knew if she did that she would burst into tears again.

"Let's go." Nick took the car keys from her hand.

Jess kept drifting off to sleep during the car ride. "This place is far." She was blinking herself awake and stretching as a yawn escaped her mouth. She tried to shake off her sleepiness.

"We are close now." Nick turned off onto a little dirt road.

"This is where you kill me and dump my body, right?" Jess thought back to her first days in the loft. He had said he was going to kill her. A little smile played on her lips.

"Yep. That's it. That's why we're here." Nick was smiling too. He parked along a curb and turned off the car.

Jess strained to see where they were. It was pitch black out. Perplexed, she turned to Nick as she released her seat belt. He was already half way out of the car. She looked around again. _What the hell? We are literally in the middle of nowhere._ She stepped out of the car onto the sidewalk. There was a sign that read no trespassing attached to a chain. Nick stepped over the chain.

"Hey, are we breaking into some place?" Jess was whispering, her eyes wide with alarm.

"No one ever comes out here anymore. It's fine. I come here a lot." He continued to walk forward.

"Well, wait for me." She ran to catch up with him. As she reached his side, he reached over and grabbed her hand. Jess looked around nervously. Nick noticed her skittishness. Amused he said, "Come on, fraidy cat. I won't let anything hurt you." They walked forward, fingers laced together.

"Is that a train engine?" Now she was really confused. She was not taking a train ride tonight.

"Yep. This place houses train engines and cars that need maintenance. So, they're just parked here." Nick stopped walking. His face was very serious all of the sudden. "Jess, I need you to promise me that this will be our secret. It…I come here when I need a break. It's sort of my place. For you know… Just, when I have to get away I come here, and I have never brought anyone here with me. So, this is just between us, okay?" Nick nervously looked from Jess to the ground. He kicked at the gravel.

"Okay. It's our secret. Now, what do we do here?" Jess was somewhat intrigued. Mostly she was touched that he had shared such a personal part of his life with her. _This is so un-Nicklike._

"Well, I'm glad you asked me that." The train yard was barely lit by a nearby street lamp, but Jess could still see the wide grin on Nick's face. He pulled her arm forward and stopped in front of a train car. He dropped her hand and began to climb the ladder attached to the train car. "Come on." He had changed from serious and contemplative to excited and care-free within the first few rungs of the ladder. Jess started up the ladder just as Nick reached the top of the car. When she made it to the top, he grabbed her hand again. "Alright, Jess, you want to scream. Here's your chance." From the top of the train car, Jess could see the outline of the city. It was actually incredibly beautiful. "Let's hear it. I want you to scream. Let it out."

As she surveyed the sky in front of her, Jess could understand why he loved this place and wanted to protect it. Her body ached with exhaustion. The idea of screaming or exerting in any way at all just seemed impossible right now. She closed her eyes and prepared to let out a scream, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt beaten down and empty. And, her throat hurt from all of the yelling earlier in the evening. "I don't feel like I need to scream anymore, Nick." _Please just let this go._ She was still peering straight ahead focusing on the outline of the buildings in the distance.

"Nuh-uh. You are not getting off that easy. We came out here so you could scream, and you are gonna do it." His voice sounded resolute but playful all at the same time. _Who is this Nick Miller? Why can't he be like this all of the time?_

"I don't think I have a scream in me, Nick. How about a howl? Maybe we can howl like we did in the desert? Wanna howl with me?" The memory of that night played in Nick's head. That was the night he knew he couldn't leave her. That was the night he had finally admitted to himself how much he really cared about her. He snorted to himself. _That's the night you want to bring up right now?_

"Yeah, Jess. I'll howl with you." He would've done anything to make her feel better.

She angled her body toward the moon and let out a little howl. Nick immediately joined in. Feeling a little braver she threw her head back and let out a giant howl. He mirrored her actions. They continued to bay and wail until they both buckled into fits of laughter. Jess sat down pulling her knees into her body. She was still laughing. She took a deep breath and put her head on her knees. She ran her finger along the rusty metal of the train car roof. It was cold and dirty. Normally this is the last place she would want to be, but right now it felt just right. _This feels so good._ Maybe it was the howling or the trains or the laughing? She didn't know. She just knew she hadn't felt this free in ages. Nick sat down next to her. They silently stared out into the darkness.

"So, how did you find this place?" Jess turned her body to face his.

"Ha!" Nick let out a little hoot. "I was driving around the night after I dropped out of law school. I was confused and mad, and I didn't want to have to face Schmidt. I just happened to turn down this little dirt road. I was looking for a quiet place to get drunk, and I ended up here." Nick turned his body toward her as he continued his story. "I've been coming here ever since. I came here the night Caroline and I broke up—well the first two times. I came here the night after we got back from my Father's funeral. It just…I don't know. Things feel simpler here. Maybe it's the trains?" He found himself trying to gage her thoughts, but it was too dark to see her eyes.

"I really like it here, Nick. Thanks for sharing this with me." She smiled over at him.

"Let's go explore. I've found some pretty cool stuff out here over the years." They climbed back down the ladder. Nick, once again, took her hand in his as they walked to the next train car. "Oh, hey, the door is open on this one. We can get in." Nick climbed into the car and extended a hand to help pull Jess up and in. Jess looked around the car apprehensively. It was so dark that she could barely see her hand in front of her face. _I am in a horror movie right now. What am I doing? _As panic started to creep into her chest, Jess was soothed by the thought that Nick was there with her. _Make the most of this night, Jess._

"This is the closest I will ever get to being a real hobo, Nick. Thanks." Jess giggled. She had decided that scared or not, there is nowhere else she would rather be at this moment.

"I am always just a step away from hobo, Jessica. Why do you think I come out here? It's good practice." She lightheartedly swiped at him. "Hey, no violence. No violence." Nick put his hands up in mock surrender. Jess surveyed the train car trying to come up with something to say.

"Were you one of those kids who liked trains?" She pictured a little Nick holding a toy train.

"I actually was. It's because of my Dad. He used to take train rides into the city. Every once in a while he would take me with him. I loved it. It made me feel…Well, you know. He wasn't around a lot, so it was nice when he would take me with him. He usually only took me if he needed me for one of his cons, but I didn't realize it at the time. I was really young. I just wanted to be with my Dad. And, it felt like he wanted me around." Nick paused for a moment, the memory causing his stomach to turn a little. "Anyway, I got really into trains for a while. And, there was this year when we had no money at Christmas. I was like six or seven years old. I had mostly grown out of the train thing. But, my Ma, well she got me this train whistle. I guess it was all she could afford. When I think back on it, I don't think anybody else got anything for Christmas that year. I was kinda a jerk about it too. I acted like it was stupid and I didn't want it." Nick scratched at his forehead. "I haven't thought about that in years." _You sound like a damn fool, Miller_, Nick chided himself. He felt uncomfortable talking about his family. Hell, he felt uncomfortable talking.

Jess was at a loss. She sat quietly listening to Nick while fiddling with her shirt buttons. She didn't want to speak for fear he might stop talking. This was the most Nick had shared about himself in the two and a half years she had known him. Desperately wanting to reach out and hold his hand again, she instead simply looked at him as warmly as she could, hoping he could see her face. She just wanted to keep him talking forever. She went to ask him another question when an involuntary shudder ran through her body. Her teeth chattered for a moment. It was getting cold. She hadn't realized they were going to be outside, so she hadn't brought a jacket. "You're cold, aren't you? Why the hell didn't you bring a jacket?" _There's the Nick Miller I know and…_

"I didn't know we were going to be outside all night, Nick. You wouldn't tell me where we were going." She shot back at him.

"Fair enough. Here." Nick handed her his coat. She put it on, and the material seemed to swallow her whole. Wanting to get back to the conversation Jess asked, "So, you are heading home for Christmas, right?"

Nick let out a deep sigh, "Yep. You know…unless I miss my flight." They both chuckled a little. "I need to go for my Mom." He didn't elaborate, and he didn't have to.

"So, what was your best Christmas ever?" Jess could smell a combination of Old Spice and shaving cream on the collar of his coat. She breathed it in waiting for his response.

Nick rubbed his hand back and forth across his eyes. He was getting tired, but he wasn't ready to let go of the night. "The year after the train whistle I got a bike, and my Dad was actually there on Christmas morning. It was Jamie's first Christmas, so he was around a little more. It was nice." His voice trailed off. Jess felt panic settle in her chest. _He's shutting down._ She didn't want this to end.

"What about you? Favorite Christmas memory?" Nick tilted his head to the side trying to find an angle with a little bit of light. He wanted to see her expression, her face. He wanted to know how she was feeling. Was this helping her?

Jess swallowed and took a big breath, "Two years ago. Candy Cane Lane." She could feel tears dot her eyes.

"Seriously?" Nick's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Nick, no one has ever done anything like that for me before. It was the best present anyone has ever given me." Tears started to streak her cheeks. She hoped it was too dark for him to notice.

"Jess, are you crying?" She closed her eyes. He had heard it in her voice.

"It isn't what you think. I'm not gonna lose it again. It's just when I think about that night I felt so loved. And, right now…" She couldn't finish her sentence. He heard a heavy sigh escape her throat and moved toward her.

"Jess, you know I am not good at this stuff. I never say the right thing. But, you need to know that you are…there are people who care about you, who want you to be happy." He blindly reached out and found the top of her arm. He ran his fingers down her arm to her wrist leaving a trail of goose bumps from the sensation of his touch. He pulled back his jacket sleeve and grazed his thumb across the top of her hand rubbing little circles into her skin. Her chest ached with want. She could feel a warm blush tinting her whole body and her breath grew shallow.

"Nick." It came out so quietly that his name sounded more like a gasp than a word. His breathing grew labored. He closed his eyes trying to steady himself. He had promised himself this wouldn't happen—that he would be strong. But, his will was quickly deserting him. He felt like electricity was flickering across his skin from the tension. Leaning closer he could finally see her face. Eyes hooded and dark, and mouth trembling, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He couldn't hold himself back anymore. His eyes fluttered closed as his lips tentatively brushed against hers. She drew in an audible breath. _This is happening. This is really happening._ His hands cupped her face as he increased the pressure on her mouth, deepening the kiss. He heard a little moan escape her lips. Moving his hands from her face down to her waist, he tightly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto her knees. Her arms curled around his neck, a hand tangling in his hair. Her body crushed against him as his tongue parted her lips and began to explore her mouth. She tilted her head to allow him better access to her mouth as her tongue brushed against his. Nick's mind had gone blank. He wasn't thinking. Two and a half years of built up need was pouring into this kiss. Her hands slowly traveled down his body. She savored the feel of his strong arms, his muscled back. As her fingers splayed down his chest to his stomach, she felt him shudder. She skimmed her teeth lightly across his bottom lip. He gasped. He trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

Hearing her whimper Nick pulled back and observed her for a moment. She was panting, her hands fisting the bottom hem of his shirt. He could feel the heat radiating from her skin. _Oh, God_. His eyes closed as he tried to steady his breathing and regain some composure. _You can't do this here. Stop it now before you can't stop at all._ He freed his shirt from her grip and sat back on his heels. His breathing was still rapid. He rubbed his hand across his face. As his arm dropped back to his side, Jess dove in for another kiss taking him by surprise and knocking him off balance. He fell onto his back taking her with him. She was lying on top of him, her hands once again running through his hair. He groaned as he tried to sit them back up. He pulled his fingers through her hair with one hand and stroked her face with the other. "Jess." He choked out her name. They gazed at one another as his thumb gently stroked her cheek.

Nick managed to return them to a sitting position. He wrapped his arms around Jess and held her firmly to his chest. His hands moved steadily up and down her spine. Jess nestled her head into the crook of his neck. Her body was still pulsing and vibrating. They stayed in this position, not speaking or moving for several minutes. She could hear his heart still hammering in his chest.

He opened his eyes and realized some light was starting to stream into the car. "Come on." He jumped down from the car. Jess scooted to the edge of the train car and lowered herself into his arms. He could feel her shaking a little. Taking her hand he led her to another car. They climbed the ladder and sat facing the sunrise. Nick sat behind Jess, his arms lying comfortably around her shoulders. She leaned her head back against him as they watched the sun come up over the horizon. Neither spoke. They just savored the moment contentedly.

Jess rolled her head toward Nick's face. She stopped with her forehead resting against his chin. Her stomach growled loudly. She grimaced and hugged her arms over her belly trying to muffle the sound. Nick snickered. "I think that's our cue. Let's go get some breakfast." They climbed back down the ladder and walked hand-in-hand to the car. Spotting a railroad spike laying on the ground, Nick broke from Jess' grip and strolled over to grab it. "Souvenir," He said with a drowsy grin.

"I want one too." Jess scanned the ground around them. She walked down the path a little and found a railroad spike of her own. She held it tightly in her hand. It would be a symbol that this night had really happened. No one could take it away from them. They rejoined hands, and Nick led her away from the best night of her life.

**Breakfast of Champions**

Nick opened the door for Jess and kissed her hand as she climbed into the car. Closing it behind her, he walked to the driver's side. His heart had steadied, but he could still taste her on his lips. He was fighting the impending sense of panic that kept invading his body. He shook his head and wrung his hands. _Okay, Miller, how are you gonna screw this thing up? _He took a deep breath, gripping the door handle. When he got into the car, he looked over to Jess. She turned to look at him, a contented, sleepy smile on her face. She reached out and touched his hand. The panic subsided for a minute. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Mmmmmm…pancakes. I want some pancakes." She leaned her head back against her seat and closed her eyes. She was still savoring the feeling pulsating through her body. It was like she could feel his touch on her skin—like it was burned in. She ran her fingers across her lips. Realizing that he was watching her, she, once again, turned to look at him. They shared a sweet smile as their eyes met. Her heart began to race again. She didn't even realize that she was leaning toward him until they were so close that she could feel his hot breath against her skin.

Nick was fighting with himself. He knew that he was just going to end up hurt. Worse than that, he would probably hurt Jess. But, she was so close. He could smell her shampoo. Her lips were parted. When she reached up and traced her finger down his jaw line, he relented. He just wasn't strong enough to fight anymore. He closed the small gap between them, bringing his lips down to hers with a resigned sigh. His hands cradled her face. As the kiss deepened, his arms dropped lower and wrapped around her waist. She moaned as he pulled her closer to him. Nick cursed the gear panel of her car. He wanted to pull her onto his lap.

"Oh, God, I can't breathe," Jess panted, angling her head up so Nick could continue to kiss down her neck.

He pulled back to make sure she was alright. His eyes were glazed over with desire.

"Don't stop," she almost begged.

Nick buried his head back into her neck. He worked at pushing his jacket off her shoulders. She shrugged it the rest of the way off. He paused his kisses and eyed the buttons on her shirt then looked up into her eyes questioningly. _Please say yes._ _Please let me_.

Jess bit her bottom lip, the ache of want rippling through her whole body. She reached up and slowly unbuttoned the top button, her eyes trained on his. She could feel his desire burning through his stare. She knew she was driving him crazy, and she liked it. Slowly trailing her finger down her chest she reached the next button. She glanced to the button and then seductively smiled back up to him. As she undid the button she heard a low growl escape his mouth. She wanted to keep playing this game, but more than that, she wanted to feel his hands on her body. Her lips began to tremble, her breath loud and out of control. _Just one more button. _Nick couldn't wait.

Her eyes closed as he ran his fingers across her bare chest just above her bra, his whole body drinking in the feeling of her bare skin against his fingertips. How many times had he dreamed of this? And now it was happening. And, she was so perfect. And, it was so much better than anything he could have imagined. She groaned out his name as his hands skimmed down her stomach and unbuttoned the final button. Pushing the fabric down he began to place soft kisses on her shoulder. Jess gripped her hands in his hair and pushed herself toward his kisses. Her eyes fluttered opened, and she let out an alarmed scream.

"What? Jess, what's wrong." Pulling at her shirt, she motioned at the driver's side window. A man was standing not too far from the car watching them. Furious, Nick started to jump out of the car to go after the guy, but she stopped him. "Please, don't go out there," Jess pleaded.

"Son of a bitch." Nick seethed. The man had run off after being discovered. They sat in the car for a few minutes, breathing hard, not speaking.

Finally, Jess turned to Nick and quietly said, "Can we go, please?" She sounded on the verge of tears again.

Nick breathed a sigh through his nose, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckle force. Disappointment and frustration clouded his voice as he rasped out a quiet "yes," and started the car.

He pulled into a little diner that he had been to a couple of times. As he turned off the car, he looked over to Jess. Her hands were shaking and her face was paler than normal. She looked dazed and distressed. She was gritting her teeth. "I can't believe that man was watching us." Her voice was breathy from the shock and adrenaline.

"It's my fault, Jess. I'm sorry I got carried away back there." He looked down at his legs, and then closed his eyes resting his chin on his chest.

"Oh, please, Nick. You are not the only one who was carried away back there." She grabbed his shirtsleeve and gently tugged. "Hey, you know I don't blame you for this, right? It wasn't your fault." She grazed the back of her fingers across his cheek. He turned to face her.

He sucked his top lip into his mouth and bit down, still not saying a word. She playfully poked at his side. "Okay, Nick?"

He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. "Okay, Jess. Food?"

Jess nodded her agreement. It was crazy how such a simple touch could put her mind at ease.

Nick walked behind Jess with his hands placed on her hips. This might not last, but he was going to savor every minute and every touch he could.

The diner was tiny and smelled of batter and grease. Jess scooted across the dirty yellow upholstered booth noticing all of the cracks and breaks in the fabric. Nick sat across from her taking the menus from the waitress. They both ordered orange juice and ice water. Nick's mouth suddenly felt parched. Nervously, he began to drum his hands on the lip if the table. Jess glanced from her menu to his face. "What are you getting?"

"I'm going for the French toast. I've had it before. Really good." Nick's head was buried in his menu, so she could no longer see his face.

"That sounds good. I am going to get the pancakes with a strawberry topping. Yum." Jess shifted in the booth uncomfortably.

The waitress arrived back at the table with the drinks. Jess quickly unsheathed the straw and gulped some of her orange juice. "Mmmmmmmmmm." The sound of her happy moan took the breath from Nick's lungs. She balled up the wrapper from her straw and feeling antsy, flicked it at Nick. It hit him just below the eye.

Startled, he looked at Jess in perplexed disbelief. "What was that?"

"A goal." A giant smile broke out across her face and her body shook with silent laughter. Nick smiled back. He couldn't help it.

"Is that right?" A cocky grin crossed his face. His eyebrows rose as a playful glint sparkled in his eyes. He slowly balled up his wrapper. Jess made a goal post with her fingers. Nick flipped the wrapper, and it hit her finger falling back to the table. He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Of course," he sighed.

"Na-na-na-na-na-WINNER!" Jess sang to the Batman theme. She did a little dance of victory, raising her arms in air and pointing her fingers at her head.

Nick quietly nodded and through a hushed chortle replied, "I guess that makes me the loser." It was meant to be full of fun, but it didn't come out that way. It rang with insecurity. The air grew thick and Nick went back to drumming on the table with his hands.

_No. No. No. _Jess thought. _Things were just getting better. _Jess just wanted things to go back to the way they were before she saw that horrible man watching them. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of him. Then, she had an idea. She grabbed her napkin, spread it out and started drawing blanks. Then, she drew a little hangman's galley and turned it around to face Nick. "Pick a letter."

"What are we, six?" Nick turned up his mouth in protest.

"Nick, just pick a letter."

"Fine. A." He was clearly annoyed.

Jess filled in one blank. "Great. Pick again."

Nick rolled his eyes and sighed. Why did she do this to him? "E."

Jess filled in two more blanks then looked up at him, clearly waiting for the next letter choice.

"Gah, Jess. I don't want to play this game." Nick squirmed in his seat.

"Please, Nick. Please." She looked at him imploringly. He instantly gave in. _Those eyes_.

"G"

Nope. Jess drew the head.

"Here we go. I'm gonna lose again."

"Stop whining and pick a letter."

"Ummm…T."

Jess filled in two more blanks.

"Hey, you never told me what this is. Is it a phrase or a place?"

"It's a song. Now pick another letter."

"S."

She drew a straight line for the body. He sighed.

"O."

She filled in another blank.

Nick eyed the letters. His forehead crinkled a little. _He's actually trying to figure it out_. She felt the swell of triumph surge through her.

"I."

Jess filled in three blanks.

Nick rolled his eyes and cocked his head to the side. "Jess, is it I had the time of my life?"

"Yes." Her eyes met his. She tried to pour everything she was feeling into that look. She wanted him to know she meant it.

He let out a little, low chuckle and reached over to her take her hand in his. A moment of contentment passed between them. Then their food arrived and was eaten at a record pace. When they got up to leave, Nick grabbed the bill and took it to the cash register.

"No, Nick. Let me get that. You have paid for everything." Jess rushed over with her wallet in hand.

"Forget it, Jess. I want to do it." He waived her off and paid the man behind the counter. Jess stretched up and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for breakfast." Nick could feel his face growing red. He shuffled his feet and looked at the floor like a nervous kid.

They got into the car and headed for home. Jess drifted off to sleep about three minutes into the drive. Nick was a little relieved. No awkward silence to worry about. When they arrived back at their building, Nick gently shook her awake. "Jess, we're here. I need you to wake up just for a few minutes, so we can get inside." She blinked and looked around. _Home_.

Jess leaned up against him on the elevator ride up. He pressed his hand against the small of her back and used it to direct her to the loft when they arrived on the fourth floor. As they entered their apartment, Jess glanced up at Nick and yawned out, "Time for bed." Reaching down, she grabbed his hand as they walked toward their rooms. As they entered the hallway Nick let go of her hand, but Jess continued to cling to his. She walked into her bedroom pulling him with her.

Nick started shaking his head, but Jess paid no attention. "Just get in the bed, Miller. Please?" Nick's eyes were large and clouded over with both fear and desire. "It's just to sleep. I promise not to attack you." Jess smiled a sleepy smile in his direction then climbed into her bed.

He was so tired. How could he say no? _It was just to sleep, right?_ He closed his eyes. He knew better. If he climbed into that bed, he might never want to leave it. She looked so soft and warm. She had pulled up the covers to her shoulder and was already half asleep. Releasing a surrendering sigh, he climbed into bed behind Jess. She immediately rolled over and cuddled her head into his chest. "Hmmmm…This feels so good," she sighed. His breath caught in his throat. He wrapped an arm around her, lightly kissed the top of her head and was sleeping within minutes.

Several hours later, Nick woke up in a cold sweat. Disoriented, it took him a minute to remember where he was. His heart was banging in his chest and his stomach clenched with nausea. He slipped out of bed and quietly made his way into the living room. He couldn't steady his heart rate. It felt like it was beating out of his chest. His mouth tasted of metal. His vision blurred. "Oh, my God. What did I do? I…" His head started to pulse with pain. His whole body felt rigid and tense. His hands began to shake as tears stung his eyes. He placed his head between his knees hoping it might help. "I can't do this." He was panicking. He had felt this before—the night before he dropped out of law school and, once, when Caroline had a pregnancy scare. Without a word, he grabbed his jacket and walked out the front door.

**We've Got Tonight**

Jess woke up hours later feeling warm and safe. She reached her arm across the bed searching for Nick, but he wasn't there. Sitting up, she looked around her room and then slowly rose from the bed with a stretch. Her muscles felt stiff and sore, probably from the combination of hours and hours of sleep and all of the tension from the previous night. Wrapped in her pink robe, she headed for the living room.

"Nick," she called out to the empty loft. _Where could he be?_ She grabbed her purse and sat down at the dining room table. Rifling through her purse looking for her phone, images began to flood her mind. Train cars. Sunrise. His mouth. The look in his eyes just before he kissed her. She could still smell him on her skin. She closed her eyes and ran her fingers over her lips. It felt like a dream, but her swollen mouth told her it wasn't. It was real.

Jess decided to look through her messages before calling Nick. She didn't want to seem clingy or needy. There were two messages. One message from her mom just saying Happy Thanksgiving. And, there was a message from Cece saying she was back in town. Nothing from Nick. A pout crossed her face when she realized Nick hadn't left her a note or a text.

She wandered into the kitchen to grab a snack and some water. She sat down in front of the TV and tried to relax for a bit. Growing antsy, Jess decided to shower. That would make her feel better. _He'll be back by the time I finish_, she reassured herself. But, he wasn't.

With a sigh, Jess decided to text Cece. "I'm coming over."

"Sounds like you had a really interesting Thanksgiving vacation." Cece smirked at Jess after hearing the details of the past few days.

Jess grinned at her friend. "It was amazing, Cece. I have never been kissed like that before."

Cece nodded her head. "Jess, you and Nick have been playing this game since you moved into the loft. I'm not surprised there was a lot of passion there. But, I have to ask—where is he now?"

Jess' mouth turned down. "Let me check my phone. I bet he's called." No messages. Jess started to nervously tap her foot on the floor. She fidgeted with her hair. "I don't know where he is." Her tone was matter-of-fact.

"So, you kissed. And, then you slept in your bed. Together. And, then you woke up, and he was gone—no note, no message. Jess, do you think he ran?"

"No. No. Why are you saying that? No." She wouldn't even look at her friend, drawing a pillow into her chest and hugging it tightly.

"Jess. Look, maybe he didn't? But, it would be a very Nick thing to do. That isn't really the point anymore though. The point is—it's time to do something about this. I mean, how long can you keep skirting this issue? It's time."

"What does that mean?"

"That means sex, Jess. It's time. If it works out, great. If not, then at least you can get him out of your system. You need to be able to move on once and for all."

"So, you just think there's no way he wants to be with me? I should just have sex with him and throw away our friendship."

"Ummm…your friendship ended in that club. Don't kid yourself. Time to put up or shut up. Stop fighting. He cares about you, Jess. He always has. That doesn't mean it will work though. And, you need to finally figure out what you're doing. You can't spend your life waiting for Nick Miller to man-up." Cece reached a comforting hand out and rubbed Jess' arm. She knew she was hurting and scared.

"Okay. I'm gonna do this. I am gonna have sex with Nick Miller." Her heart was pounding just thinking about it.

As Jess walked out the door, Cece pursed a closed-mouth smile toward her. "Please don't fuck this up, Miller," she muttered under her breath, closing the door.

Jess drove around for almost an hour, trying to gather her courage. As she pulled up to their apartment building, her heart began to pound. _How would she do this? What if he rejected her? What if their friendship was lost forever?_ So many questions and no answers. Knowing that she just had to take this leap, she repeated, "It's now or never," in her head over and over making her way up to the loft.

Nick was sitting on the couch staring at the TV. He had arrived back at the loft and, upon finding it empty, sat down and turned on a game to distract himself. He still couldn't believe he had run away like that. _You're such a damn coward, Miller._ After walking in circles for hours, Nick had come to the conclusion that he just wasn't strong enough to be with Jess. If something happened…if he lost her then he would never recover. And, of course, he would lose her because he wasn't and never could be deserving of her. So, he had determined that he would just tell her that last night was nothing more than an impulse—a moment that could never be repeated. But, as he continued to wait for her to return home, his resolve was steadily wavering. And, when he heard her keys clang against the front door, his hands began to shake again. _I don't know how to do this. She is going to see right through me. _He stood up and took a deep breath.

Jess walked through the door, and without even looking at him, asked Nick if he had eaten dinner. He answered no without elaborating.

She made her way to the kitchen, and began to ready some food. Nick watched her without speaking. He walked over and sat down on a barstool, wringing his hands. The scene felt oddly domestic. He watched her boil pasta. He focused on the ticking of the timer to escape the overwhelming tension in the room. When dinner was ready, they sat down at the dining room table and ate in silence, both trying to work up the courage to follow through with their intentions.

Jess took a big swig of wine, sighed and cleared her throat to get Nick's attention.

"We need to talk, Nick." She looked at him for the first time all evening. Fear flickered in his eyes.

"Let me go first, Jess," he interrupted. "I think I know what you are going to say."

"I doubt that, but say what you want to say," She responded, annoyed.

"Jess, I had a good time last night. But, I think we got carried away. So…I mean, you know. We're friends." His strained voice trailed off. He couldn't finish his thought. He couldn't say the words out loud. He was afraid he would look up to see tears in her eyes. Instead he found her calmly nodding her head.

"Okay, Nick." Her voice was quiet. "I understand what you are saying." She paused, trying to come up with the right words. "Maybe we could just think of the past few days as a vacation from reality? Nothing that has happened is real? And, anything that happens before the guys get back home isn't real?" She took another big breath and downed the rest of her glass.

Nick's eyebrows creased. He knew she was going somewhere, but he couldn't figure out what she was getting at. He tilted his head to the side, biting the inside of his mouth and listening intently.

"Nick, I'm just gonna say this because I just…I think I just need to get you out of my system. I just want one night."

She wasn't being clear. Nick's face was the picture of confusion—forehead wrinkled, eyes squinting, mouth turned down.

"Jess, I don't understand. What do you want from me?"

"I…" Her words caught in her throat. She had never done this before. Her breath had grown shallow and a blush of embarrassment was now tinting her cheeks and chest. "I want one night to get this…us out of my system."

Realization dawned upon Nick and he started to vigorously shake his head. "No. Jess, no." He abruptly stood up and began to walk away from the table. "This is maybe the stupidest thing you have ever…I mean, No. This is just…No." Anger was pulsing through his body. _Was she trying to break him?_

She stood too.

"Nick, please?" Her voice was almost achingly vulnerable. It knocked the wind out of him.

"You are out of your damn mind, Jess. What? You think we can just have sex and then forget about it—like it never happened? You can't do that. And, you know what? I don't think I could do that either. Just stop."

"Like I said, Nick. It isn't real. None of this is real. It's a dream." Her blue eyes gazed at him.

"Don't ask me to do this, Jess. I can't." He was still furiously shaking his head. His hands were on his hips and he had started to pace. _Why is she doing this to me? _

"It won't change anything. I just need to be able to move on. I mean, if we never…I will always wonder. Won't you? Let's just... One night. Please. Give me this." Her eyes were rimmed with tears, but she refused to let them fall. She slowly approached him.

He was facing away from her, staring at the wall and trying to steady his breathing. Hearing her approaching footsteps, his heart began to hammer in his chest. The air around them was charged with electricity.

She could see that his fists were balled up at his sides. He was fighting himself. When, she placed her hand on his back, he went rigid. His breathing was loud and ragged. She knew she had him.

"Nick, let's just think about tonight." Circling his body to face him, she grazed her fingers gently along his torso, eliciting a tiny shudder. Finally, she looked into his eyes. They were so dark, filled with desire. She stood before him and began to slowly unbutton her blouse, exposing her flawless pale skin. Clenching his jaw, watching her intently, he let out a low moan. Her stomach flipped, and her body began to tingle. She had never felt like this. "Nick?" His name came out as a whispered question.

Nick closed his eyes. She was too beautiful. He couldn't speak or move. _Why was this happening? Why was she looking at him like that?_ His body began to shake with the effort of holding back—of not reaching out and grabbing her. He opened his eyes as she brushed her hands down his chest. Their eyes locked. Her fingers began to trace the buttons of his shirt. He threw his head back and gave an exasperated laugh.

Nodding his head, he grabbed her face. "You win, Jessica. I never really had a chance, but you win."

Without another word, he crashed his mouth onto hers.

**Orange Juice and Oh, Schmidt**

**A/N M chapter. Reader Beware!**

Jess woke up early Sunday morning parched. She spilled out of Nick's bed, grabbing one of his shirts off the floor. She shrugged it on without bothering to button it up. Walking into the kitchen, her body felt sore, well-used.

Leaning against the counter, she poured herself some orange juice. She took a sip as she replayed last night in her head. His hands caressing her body. His mouth, _everywhere_. The way their bodies moved together, perfectly. Her face began to heat and pulse as the images reran over and over again. A low groan fell from her lips as she ran a finger down her the hyper-sensitive skin between her breasts as she took another sip and settled her hand on her stomach.

Nick rolled over and discovered an empty bed. Placing his face down into his pillow, he groaned. It smelled like her. _So good._ He bit down on his bottom lip thinking about her body. God, he could still taste her. His heart sped up a little as he remembered the way she cried out his name, throwing her head back, eyes fluttering. He wanted her again already.

He walked quietly into the kitchen.

Feeling his hand on her waist, she jumped. Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't heard him come in. His hand began to slowly graze her side. Biting her lip, she leaned her head back against his shoulder.

"Can I have some of that juice?" His voice was a hot breath against her skin. She shuddered.

"You want some of this juice?" She asked playfully, turning around to face him.

His breath caught as he glimpsed her mostly naked body. Smirking, she slid up onto the counter.

Nick nodded his head and reached for the glass, stepping between her legs, glimpsing at her almost exposed breasts.

She grabbed the glass back from him forcefully, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"You make me work hard all night, and now you deny me juice? That's just wrong, Jessica." His hands were leisurely sliding up and down her thighs. His eyes locked on hers, a small smile playing across his lips.

She trailed her finger along his cheek and then back and forth across his bottom lip. She could hear his labored breathing now. Biting her lip into a grin, she lifted his hand off her thigh and carefully poured a bit of her drink along her milky-white skin. He watched the orange liquid run down her thigh, over her knee and drip down her calf.

His mouth dropped open, a heavy breath mixed with a silent laugh escaping his lips. He sank to his knees and began to slowly lick the tangy juice off her skin.

"Oh, God. Nick." Her hands twisted in his hair as her head fell back against the cabinet.

Continuing up her leg, he grazed his teeth along her inner thigh while watching her face. Breathless, eyes hooded, skin tinted pink; she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

Her whole body was trembling. She beat her hands against the counter as the feeling became almost more than she could handle.

He stood up between her thighs, grabbed her face and began to kiss her hard. _How could there still be this much passion left between them after last night? Would he ever really be able to get her out of his system?_

Wrapping her legs around his waist, she whispered, "Nick, now," against his neck.

Giving into her request, he lost himself in her completely.

A few hours later, Jess woke up completely covered in his arms. She gently lifted his arm off her side, but found his other hand gripped in her hair.

"Nick," she whispered. "Nick, I need to get up. Schmidt and Winston will be home soon."

His eyes squinted open, and he released his grip on her raven curls. She sat up on the edge of his bed, and he reached out running his fingers along her naked spine. She sighed arching her back away from his touch. _This was it. It had to stop now. The guys would be home soon, and their little vacation from reality would be over._

The floor in front of the bed was covered in a pool of clothes. She searched through and found her outfit from yesterday. Turning to look at him, she tried to memorize the moment. His drowsy smile and hazy brown eyes. His soft hair sticking up every which way from sleep and her hands pulling at it over and over again. His warm olive skin. She had to let this go now. She had to let him go. That was their deal. Holding her clothes tightly against her chest, she walked out of his room and into the bathroom without saying another word.

Still feeling sticky from the orange juice, Jess turned on the shower and stepped in. The hot spray against her still-electrified skin almost made her cry out. Everything felt sensual. The foam of the soap, the towel skimming across her flesh, her clothes rubbing against her curves. Everything reminded her of Nick's skin on her skin. His mouth on her mouth.

Jess was coming to the slow realization that this had been a very bad idea. The man who had made her feel more than anyone else ever had would be living across the hall, just a few feet away, every day and every night. And, she couldn't have him. Feeling overwhelmed, she called Cece.

"So, we did it. I mean, we had sex. A lot." Jess' voice was just above a whisper. She didn't want to take a chance on having Nick overhear her.

"And?"Cece asked.

"It was so…It was beyond amazing." She could feel herself starting to get choked up and tried to hold back.

"So, are you guys together or was this just a one-time thing?"

Lips trembling, "One night only. And, Cece, I thought it was a good idea. I mean, I thought we would do it, and I would be over him. But, I think I screwed up big time."

Cece's voice filled with concern, "Sweetie, are you okay? Do you want me to come over there?"

"I'm fine. I just…" Jess' voice trailed off as Nick walked into her room. He had been eyeing the clock anxiously. He just wanted her, needed her, one more time.

Gazing at her as she sat on her bed, his body clenched with desire. She could feel his eyes burning into her skin. She had seen this expression on his face so many times last night. Her body instantly began to pulse with the need for his touch.

"Jess, are you still there?"

"I'm here, Cece. I should probably let you go." She was panting. She could feel her chest rising and falling under his watchful stare.

He walked over to where she was sitting and silently pulled up her pretty blue dress, pulled down her white cotton panties and laid her back on the bed.

"Jess, are you alright? You sound funny."

"No, Cece, I'm good," her voice strained out. "But, I should really go." Jess was biting her lip to keep from moaning into the phone as his tongue caressed her inner thighs. When he connected with his target and began to vigorously move his mouth against her, she couldn't hold back. "Oh, God."

"What is going on? Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes," Jess groaned.

"Oh my God. Is Nick there?" Cece sounded both annoyed and amused.

"Uh-huh," Jess breathed.

"Okay. Call me later. You two are in big trouble." Cece laughed as she hung up the phone.

Jess tossed her phone aside and fisted her hands into her comforter trying not to scream from the sensation flooding her body.

Nick looked up at her, "Jess, do you have any condoms in here?"

Unable to speak, Jess shook her head no. As he started back for his room she called out, "Nick, don't go. I'm…" breathlessly, "I'm on the pill."

Without a beat, Nick returned to her, moving her back further on the bed. He dropped his pants and pushed into her, eliciting a tiny scream. The feeling of skin against skin was more than either of them could have imagined.

Nick cradled her face in his hands as their bodies slowly rocked together. His eyes locked on hers, and he refused to look away for a second.

Her fingers laced in his hair. Her lips parted. She reached up and brushed her lips against his. Resting her head back against the pillow with a trembled sigh, she moved her hands from his hair and circled her arms around his back. She wanted to pull him closer. Letting out another moan, she pushed her head further into the pillow and arched her hips higher against him.

"I can't get close enough," she breathed.

Nick stopped moving and sat back on his heels. Wrapping his arms around her back, he started to pull her up with him. He watched as her head slowly rose off the pillow, her chest arching toward him. He kissed up her neck, gripping his hand in the back of her hair, raising her lips to his with a forceful passion. She groaned into his mouth as he lifted her tiny frame up onto his lap, sliding himself back into her once more.

They broke from their kiss and began to cling to one another as they found the perfect rhythm. The room filled with sighs and moans. Their legs became slippery with sweat.

Jess reached her hands under his shirt, needing to touch even more of his skin. Her nails dug into his flesh as their pace quickened.

"Oh, God, Jess." Nick moaned, bringing his lips back to her neck.

"I…I, Nick." Every breath was a struggle. She couldn't get the words out. As her body began to shake, her eyes filled with tears. Nothing had ever felt this good. "I can't. I'm…" Coming undone, she sobbed out his name, tears silently streaming down her cheeks.

"Oh, fuck." Feeling her let go, Nick released himself inside of her. He continued to pump into her until he was spent.

Pulling her head back to look at her eyes, he saw the tears pouring freely from her eyes. Alarmed he wiped them away asking, "Did I hurt you?"

Mouth trembling, she shook her head no. Sniffling a little, she tried to steady herself. "No one has ever made me feel like that before. The way you looked at me..." She turned her head away from him unable to finish.

Positioning her face between his hands, he grazed his thumb over her jaw. She turned back to look at him. _His eyes. What was that look?_

"Jess." The way he said it made her name sound almost holy.

Just then they heard the door to the loft creak open. "Hey, Nick, you here?"

"Oh, shit." He mouthed. "Schmidt."

Their eyes grew wide as they jumped apart. Nick threw on his pants. Slapping his face a couple of times, he headed for the door. Glancing back at Jess, he turned up his mouth into a sad smile. She returned his smile and gave him a little nod. He nodded back and then left her room, closing the door gently behind him. It was done. Their five days was over.

**Nick Miller and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week**

Jess sank to the floor, head in hands, and cried for a couple of minutes. _Okay. Get it together, Day._ She tried to smooth out the skirt on her dress, but gave it up as a lost cause. She put on a t-shirt and some jeans instead. Then, she quickly ran a brush through her hair. Checking herself in the mirror, her cheeks were still flushed and her lips were red and swollen. Nothing she could do about that now.

Walking into the living room, she heard Schmidt going on and on about the nightmare that is Elizabeth's family.

Nick could see her approaching from the corner of his eye, but decided to keep his focus on Schmidt.

Rising from the couch, Schmidt greeted Jess with a hug. "Nick tells me you were stuck here with him for Thanksgiving. I'm so sorry. That must have been awful."

Nick's mouth turned down as he glared at Schmidt.

Jess smiled and rolled her eyes, "It wasn't that bad, Schmidt." Chuckling a little, she added, "I mostly stayed in bed."

Nick whipped his head in her direction, eyes wide, mouth open.

Jess kept her gaze on Schmidt. She could feel Nick's exasperated stare, but she refused to acknowledge it. Instead she finished, "I'm actually still feeling a bit worn out. I think I'll read a little and turn in for the night. Welcome home, Schmidt." She strolled into her room, never looking in Nick's direction.

_So, this is how it's gonna be._ Nick closed his eyes. There was an actual pain in his chest. He jerked his hands into his pockets. He wanted to escape from the room, but he couldn't let on that anything was bothering him.

"Why is the kitchen floor sticky? And, who left the orange juice out on the counter? Nicholas, what did I say about keeping this place in good working order?" Schmidt's obnoxious nagging shook Nick from his thoughts.

Biting his lip and smiling a little at the memory Nick called, "Yeah…ummm…that's my fault. I'll pick up some more juice on the way home. I've got work." Nick grabbed his keys and headed for the front door. It would be nice to get away from here for the night. "See ya later, Schmidt."

And, for the next week, Nick was gone as much as possible. He picked up extra shifts at the bar. He played basketball with Winston. He even went shopping with Schmidt one night. Anything to avoid being in the loft with Jess because it was just unbearable. They couldn't stand to be in the same room. They went out of their way to avoid even the possibility of touching. Hell, Jess wouldn't even look at him for the first few days. And he couldn't blame her. He should've stopped them. He should have said no.

The nights were the worst. Lying in bed he couldn't escape the memories. She was the scent on his sheets, the sigh in his ears, the taste on his lips. And, that damn shirt. He couldn't bring himself to wash it. He was in hell.

When he was home during the day, he had taken to listening for her through his bedroom door. He had gotten pretty good too. He could usually figure out where she was in the loft. It hadn't been hard though. She had mostly been in her room with the door closed.

One night, arriving home from a late shift, he was sure he heard her crying in her room. Placing his hands on her door, he worked to restrain himself from barging into her room to comfort her. God, he just wanted to hold her. He would settle for talking to her—the way they used to, before everything became complicated and difficult. He missed her more than he ever thought possible.

So, on Friday, when Schmidt suggested they all go out on Friday night, Nick said yes- partly because he hoped to get things back to normal with Jess and partly because if things couldn't be normal then he could drink until he felt nothing at all.

Jess wanted nothing to do with a night out though. She had fully intended to stay home, but Cece refused to allow that.

"Cece, I can't even stand being in the same room with him. I just want to stay home and watch a movie or read a book."

The week following their "vacation" had really done a number on Jess. The first couple of days, she had really hoped that Nick would come to her. She wanted him to say that he was wrong—that they weren't just a mistake. But, the longer he stayed silent the more disillusioned she became. She was heartbroken.

"Jess, what do you want here? Do you want to be with Nick? Do you want to make him suffer? Do you want to go back to the way things were? Do you know what you want? I can help you. That man is easy. But, you have to tell me what you want out of this." Cece knew Jess was about a breath away from sinking into a Dirty Dancing funk.

"I want Nick to make the move. I don't want to have to play games, Cece. I just want him to want me enough that he can't stay away. But, he clearly doesn't feel that way." Tears began to fall down her cheeks. Jess grabbed a tissue from her purse and dabbed at her face.

"You are going out with them tonight, and I am coming with you. And, you know this is really hard for me. The idea of spending my Friday night with Schmidt and Elizabeth is just…But, I will do that for you, Jess. You need this."

Jess shook her head no.

"Yes. Stop arguing with me. Now, let's get you ready."

Cece went to work on Jess. She curled her hair, pinning it to the side. Nadia helped with her make-up. Then, they picked out an outfit—a tight red, scoop-neck tank dress that hit her mid-thigh and 3-inch heels.

When they were done, Jess surveyed herself in the mirror. She looked hot, bordering on slutty. The dress was so tight that you could actually see her hipbones when she moved.

"No way, Cece! This is too much." Jess turned to her friend with an exasperated glare. "I look like a slut." Cece grinned at the way Jess whispered the last part of her sentence.

"You look amazing, Jess. Trust me. This is the way to go. Text Schmidt and let him know we'll meet them at the bar."

Jess wasn't sure that she could really even follow through with this. Her heart fluttered with apprehension. But, if Cece was willing to spend the night out with Schmidt then she could do this too. She nodded her head resolutely and sent the text.

**Drinking Buddies**

Jess had been pacing the floor and fidgeting the whole time Cece got ready.

"Seriously, Jess, calm down. You are driving me crazy. Go sit on the couch, and I will pour you a glass of wine. You just need to relax. You can't walk into that bar this way. You need to be cool. Make Nick think you are fine because you are crazy if you think that man is going to act anything other than cool himself."

Taking the wine from Cece, Jess nodded. She was right. Nick had been totally normal all week long. He was out with the guys and working and just acting like nothing had ever happened. She was falling apart at the seams, and he was playing basketball with Winston.

She sighed draining the glass. "Another?"

Cece raised her eyebrows. "Be careful, Jess. Nothing lets a man know you are pining for him like getting sloppy drunk."

"Well, you won't let that happen, right Cece?"

"Right, Jess." She handed her the glass and took one for herself. This would be the first time she had spent any time with Schmidt since their lunch when he informed her that he was staying with Elizabeth. It had been months and months, but it still hurt.

"Alright, girl, let's go." Cece grabbed her purse. Jess grabbed her sweater, and they were off.

They arrived at the bar a bit late. Cece scanned the room for their group. "Jess, they are over in that booth. Oh…"

Jess looked over just in time to see Nick chatting with a cute blond in very tight sweater. She froze, swallowing hard. Her eyes kept blinking—like if she blinked enough the image in front of her wouldn't be there anymore.

"Jess, let's just get a drink." Cece pulled her toward the bar. "You want some more wine?"

Staring blankly ahead, Jess choked out, "Shots. I want to do some shots." _If he could have a good time then she could too. A very good time._

Two guys at the bar smiled in her direction. "You ladies want to do some shots?"

Jess turned and grinned at Cece, raising her eyebrows a couple of times.

"Absolutely," Cece smiled at them.

Jess leaned her head back and laughed. It was either laugh or scream. She turned back toward the guys and thanked them as they waited for their shots to arrive. Focused on the upcoming drinks, Jess missed the look on Nick's face when he noticed her sitting with the guys at the bar.

Nick rubbed his hands across his eyes, trying to recover. He felt like he had just been kicked in the stomach. He quickly glanced back over in her direction and shook his head, watching her down a shot with Cece. _What the hell?_ Watching her do that shot reminded him of their night at the club. The smell of the tequila on her breath. The way she tasted. _Fuck, Miller. Cut it out._

Schmidt realized that Nick was watching Jess and Cece. "The rest of our party has finally arrived."

Scmidt, Elizabeth, Nick and Winston all made their way across the room to Cece and Jess.

After two glasses of wine and two shots, Jess was finally feeling at ease. A silly grin was plastered to her face, and her eyes were sparkling in a way they hadn't for days.

"Scmidt! Winston!" She got off her barstool and hugged them both. "We are having shots. And, you should have shots too." Jess pointed at them and then started giggling.

Schmidt turned his attention to Cece. His eyes cut to the floor with regret and sadness. Looking back up, he put on a little smile. "Hello, Cecelia. It's really good to see you."

"Schmidt," she replied in a clipped tone. She gave a small nod in Elizabeth's direction.

The air filled with tension—exactly what Jess was trying to escape. "Okay, it just got way too serious in here. I think it's time for…" Jess raised her hands in the air and began to jump in place, "some more alcohol!"

Nick rolled his eyes chewing on the inside of his mouth. His mouth turned up into a pursed grimace and his eyes narrowed. God. A small growl slipped from his mouth. What was she wearing? No longer needing to imagine all of the curves that lay beneath the tiny scrap of fabric, he was unable to draw his eyes away from her gorgeous body. His hand involuntarily twitched open and closed as he remembered how soft her skin was under his fingers. Oh, how he wanted to touch her, grab her, kiss her.

Trying to pull himself back into the moment he said, "Life of the party, huh, Jess?" He was seriously considering taking off his shirt and placing it over her, so all of the men in the bar would stop staring at her.

Hearing the sarcasm in his voice infuriated Jess. How could he begrudge her a good time? He had broken her heart. And, less than a week later, he is back to hitting on other women. And, now he acts like she is doing something wrong? Screw him.

"That's right, Nicholas, thanks to my new friends here. This is Brad and this is Jeff. They were kind enough to buy us some shots. Aren't they generous?" Brad grinned at Jess.

"Wow, Jess, you got some random guys to buy you drinks when you're wearing practically no clothes and acting like some drunk college freshman? Impressive." Nick shook his head in disgust and turned his focus across the room.

He looked back at Jess and saw her eyes had gone wide with hurt. Her cheeks were pink and her chest was moving up and down rapidly.

The realization of his harsh words hit Nick, hard.

"Jess…"

Cece cut him off. "Over the line, Miller." She ran a comforting hand along Jess' back while shooting daggers at Nick with her eyes.

"Don't let him get to you. Just come have another drink." Cece whispered. Jess discreetly wiped a tear from her eye, nodding.

Brad and Jeff had turned away from the scene. It was clear they had stumbled into a pretty awkward situation.

Trying to regroup Jess announced, "So, I want to have some fun. Anyone want to teach me how to play darts?" She ran her hand up Brad's arm and gave him a playful smile. "We can make a drinking game out of it. Who's in?"

Both Jeff and Brad raised their hands into the air, grinning and laughing. Cece shook her head at them. _Poor bastards_.

Jess looked over to fix her eyes on Nick, "Let's do this." She grabbed Brad's hand and started to pull him toward the section of the bar that housed the dart boards.

Nick gritted his teeth and looked to the floor. He couldn't watch this. She clearly wanted to hurt him, and it was working. He had two options; ignore her altogether and have zero fun on his own or make this as hard for her as possible. With a smirk, his decision was made.

"Let's all play." He glanced over to Jess and raised his eyebrows. He looked so cocky. Her mouth dropped open a little then raised into grin. _Game on, Miller_.

Schmidt added, "Sounds great." He had been so distracted by Cece that he was completely oblivious to the tension playing out between Nick and Jess. Winston, on the other hand, was shaking his head with his hands on his hips.

"Hey, Nick. Can I holler at you for a minute?" Nick saw the knowing expression on Winston's face and just nodded silently.

Winston and Nick walked over to the other side of the bar without speaking.

"What did you do?" Winston turned an angry stare toward Nick.

"I…what are you talking about?" He was caught.

"Nick, don't do this, man. We have talked about it so many times. It will never work out. She'll end up leaving or you will. You'll both get your hearts broken. You might even kill each other. Seriously, stop this shit now while you still can." The look on Winston's face was so serious. Nick actually considered telling him the truth for a minute.

Instead he replied, "It's just darts," and strolled over to where the group had migrated. Winston rolled his eyes and followed after him.

Nick and Winston had only talked for a couple of minutes, but it looked like Jess had already had two more shots while he was gone. _This is bad. _He pulled at the skin on his forehead as Brad began to talk.

"Okay, the rule is, you have to take a shot before you start your turn. Whoever gets the lowest score buys the next round. Seem fair?" Brad scanned the group to make sure everyone was in agreement.

"Well, since Jess isn't used to playing darts, it seems like she'll be buying every time." Nick interjected.

Brad nodded, "Good point. Jess is exempt until she gets the hang of it." He smiled over at Jess and winked at her.

She sauntered over and wrapped her arms around him. Stealing a look over her shoulder at Nick she added, "Oh, Brad, you are just too kind." Then, while glowering at Nick, she placed a little kiss on Brad's cheek.

Nick gritted his teeth.

Jess stepped up to the line with some darts in her hand. She smiled and shrugged at her friends.

"Hey, Nick, I thought I saw you with some blonde girl earlier. Did you scare her off?" Jess tried to line up her dart with the target, but her vision was a little fuzzy from her latest shot. It was weird. She was usually such a happy drunk. But, tonight she felt angry. In fact, just thinking about him with that girl set her body on fire with rage. She threw the dart and missed the board altogether. She could hear Nick chuckle a little behind her.

Nick smiled, amused. _So, she noticed that girl, huh?_ Funny. He hadn't. Not really. But, she didn't need to know that.

He slowly approached her, still wearing a cocky grin. Jess inhaled sharply as his hand grazed along her back and then wrapped around her prominent hipbone. He stepped behind her, pushing himself into her. Her eyes fluttered and her pulse quickened as he ran his fingers slowly down her arm and took her hand in his. His scruffy stubble brushed against her ear and cheek as he breathed against her neck, "Why do you care, Jess? You have Brad, right?"

She let out an audible breath and her body shuddered as his hand gently travelled up and down her side. Lifting her hand and positioning the dart in her fingers Nick whispered, "Don't fuck with me, Jess. It's not nice." He pulled her arm back a little and helped her fire the dart at the board. It hit the side.

Nick dropped his hands from her body and walked over to the bar to get another drink. Jess watched him with guilt. "What am I doing?" She quietly asked herself, rubbing at her eyes.

Without thinking, she followed after him. "Nick," she called after him. He swung around ready for a fight, but found her glistening blue eyes filled with remorse. His hand involuntarily reached out to her, but he pulled it back before she could notice.

"I'm so…" Jess was looking up at him through her lashes, clearly on the verge of tears. Nick closed his eyes for a moment and cocked his head to the side. He wanted to make this better.

"Jess, it's fine," his voice was raspy and full of emotion. "Let's just go back and have some fun."

Jess found herself trying to play along, but the more she drank, the more her spirits fell. She had gone past pleasantly buzzed to really drunk without even realizing it. Her vision had grown blurry and her head was beginning to spin.

Nick noticed that Jess was slowly swaying as she tried to stand still. He sighed and went to stand behind her in case she lost her footing.

She felt so tired all of the sudden. Rocking back on her heels, she lost her equilibrium. Nick grabbed her waist to steady her.

_Oh, God, his hands._ She laid her head back against his shoulder. Nick leaned forward and whispered against her neck, "Are you ready to go?"

"Mmmmm…" Jess nodded enjoying the feeling of his breath against her skin.

_Wait, what are you doing? Don't go with him. _She tried to will herself to fight, but she was too drunk and too tired and she missed him too much.

Nick started to steer her toward the front door only to be stopped by Brad.

"And, where are you taking Jess? You want to stay and play some more, right?" Brad stepped in front of Jess and started pulling at her hands.

"I think I should go home. I don't feel so good." Her words slurred a little and her eyes refused to focus.

"Well, I can take you home. You want me to take you home, Jess?" Brad was still holding her hands and trying to subtly pry her free from Nick.

"We're roommates, Brad. I'm taking her home. Let go of her hands and say bye. Now." Narrowing his gaze, Nick looked down-right menacing.

"Well, let me at least get her number." Brad, evaluating Nick's countenance, had decided he didn't want a fight.

"Get it from someone else. We're leaving now." Nick wasn't playing around anymore. He wanted to get her home.

Cece smiled as Nick steadied a very drunk Jess and helped her through the front door. _He loves her._ _Good for them._ Shooting a fleeting glance over to Schmidt and Elizabeth, she watched as he placed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Blinking back a tear, she turned away from them again.

As the taxi reached their building, he roused Jess. She had passed out almost immediately. He got out of the car and held his hands out for her.

"I don't think I can do it, Nick. Just leave me here. Save yourself."

Sighing, "Jess, come on. Get out of the car."

"I can't, Nick. My legs are made out of jelly." She tried to demonstrate by kicking in his direction then gave up as the movement was too much of an effort. She fell back over against the seat.

"Dammit. Why me?" He was quickly losing patience. He reached into the cab and pulled her into his arms. He struggled with the door and the button to the elevator as he carried her in his arms.

She rested her head against his shoulder and sent a sleepy smile up to him. "Thank you for rescuing me, Nick."

He just shook his head. He couldn't even talk. She felt so good in his arms. Knowing that he would have to put her down and go to his room alone was making his chest ache.

As they reached the loft, her stomach lurched. "Oh, God, Nick. I think I'm gonna be sick."

He set her down and she took off stumbling down the hall for the bathroom.

"Of course you are," he said aloud, resigned to the fact that he would be sitting on the bathroom floor next to her all night.

He grabbed a glass of water and some aspirin from the kitchen and then set off for the bathroom. Poor Jess. She was so sick. He placed a wet rag across her forehead and rubbed her back in between her bouts of nausea.

When she had gone more than thirty minutes without vomiting, he pulled her to her feet, let her brush her teeth and rinse out her mouth and helped her into her room. Barely able to stand, she was a bit useless. _God help me_. He pulled off her skimpy outfit and dressed her in some comfy pajamas. Then, he laid her down in bed, covering her up and smoothing her bangs off her forehead and out of her eyes.

As he went to leave the room, she reached out and grabbed his arm. She looked up at him with the saddest eyes, mouth trembling.

"Are you gonna be sick again, Jess?" He was ready to grab her out of bed and help her back to the toilet.

She shook her head no, still holding his arm. "Thank you, Nick," she choked out.

He bent down to get a little closer to her face and look into her big blue eyes. He ran his fingers across her cheek, "Of course, Jess." It felt so good to be able to touch her—even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

He turned to leave again and Jess called after him, "I miss you so much. I miss you, Nick." He could hear the tears in her voice. His stomach clenched. He knew he should leave the room. He took another step toward the door but then stopped in his tracks. He stood there struggling with what he wanted to do versus what he should do as the sounds of her sobs in the background grew louder.

He slowly headed back to her bedside. She looked up at him again, this time her eyes were wet with tears. "I miss you, Nick," she whispered. Unable to resist, he crawled into the bed, pulling her into his arms. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and caressed her back until she drifted off to sleep.

**Rooftop Wisdom and Daydream Believers**

Nick squinted his eyes open as light poured through the window into Jess' room. _Man, how does she handle this early morning light?_ He looked down to find her still snuggled into his chest. Her wild hair was cascading over her face. Gingerly he brushed it aside, so he could get a glimpse of her beautiful face. Propping his head up on his hand, he watched her sleep for a couple of minutes, enjoying the cute little squeaks and noises she made. He trailed a finger across her cheek but quickly drew back his hand as her eyes fluttered open.

"Oh, God. What did I do?" Her hands instantly went to cover her eyes. Her head was pounding and her stomach was suffering the after-effects of her ill-advised drinking binge.

"Water and aspirin on your side table." Nick used a comforting, quiet voice.

"Nick?" She seemed thoroughly disoriented. "You're still here?" She sounded both surprised and somewhat agitated.

_I deserve that. _"I'm just about to go, Jess. We wouldn't want Schmidt and Winston to get the wrong idea."

Jess let out a disgruntled chuckle. "Yeah. The wrong idea." She rolled her body away from his and buried her aching head in her pillow. "I'm sober now, Nick. You can go back to ignoring me again." Wanting her words to come out as resolute and angry they instead just rang with hurt and sadness.

Nick pushed himself up and out of her bed. His eyes lingered on her for a moment. He hadn't anticipated her irritation this morning, and it smarted a little. He grabbed his shoes and started for the door.

Silently shaking his head, "You're welcome, Jess." And, with that he walked out of the room.

Jess picked up the book from her bedside table and threw it across the room, instantly regretting the loud thud. She buried her head under her covers and gave into her tears.

Nick slammed into his room yelling, "Dammit," loudly enough that she would be sure to hear it. What the hell was her problem? _Crazy damn woman._ Last night she said she missed him. This morning she just wants him to leave. How the hell was he supposed to keep up? He threw himself, back down, onto his bed and rubbed at his eyes.

Startled he looked up, hearing his door knob turn. There she was, standing in his doorway. Her eye make-up was smeared and her hair was a tangled, wild mess, but she still took his breath away.

She took a tentative step toward him. Sitting up on the bed, he tilted his head to the side. Defenses up, jaw clenched, he readied himself for her wrath.

Instead, she stared down at her feet and spoke softly, "Nick, I can't fight anymore. I thought that…" She ran her toes back and forth over the grooves of the hardwood floor. "Well, it doesn't matter what I thought. I was wrong."

Pausing again, she refused to cry. She was done feeling like some pathetic girl begging for his attention. Feeling a little stronger, she brought her gaze back to his face. _Mistake_. Letting out a loud breath, she began to scan his room. Anything to keep from looking into his eyes. "Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm done fighting."

Nick shrugged his shoulders in exasperated frustration. "I don't know what you are talking about, Jess." Why did everything have to be so damn awkward and complicated? Losing his temper with the situation, Nick rose from the bed. Throwing his hands into the air he yelled, "I knew this would happen. It ruined everything. It never should have happened. I regret it. I just want things to go back to the way they were before."

Jess had covered her ears as her head was still splitting with pain. And, now, with his words, her heart ached too. "I'm sorry, Nick. I didn't realize I was the only one here during those five days. It's all my fault, right?" Jess seethed.

"Well, I sure as hell wasn't throwing myself at you." Eyes narrowed, his words coming out in angry pants.

His words felt like a punch in the gut and a slap in the face all at the same time. He heard her breath catch. Spinning on the balls of her feet, she ran out of his room.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ His words echoed in his head. Did he really just blame Jess for everything? Did he really just pretend that he didn't want her as badly as she had wanted him? What was he doing? Needing some fresh air, he headed for the roof.

Nick sat on a chair, eyes focused on the clouds floating overhead. He tried to clear his head. He didn't want to have to think. Thinking hurt right now. As he continued to watch the sky, images kept invading his calm. First it was her eyes, tinged with desire. That gave way to a tear stained forlorn look of hurt. Next, her seductive smile ran through his head. It made his heart beat a little faster. But, then that smile faded into trembling lips. _Sadness._ All he could feel was sadness and confusion. God, make it stop. He covered his eyes with his hand and tried to will the pain away.

"Nick Miller. Nick Miller. You sure are an idiot."

Jerking around, he saw Cece approaching him. His eyes widened with fear. She had threatened to end anyone who hurt Jess, and he was pretty sure she would follow through on that promise. Part of him wanted her to follow through.

"Cece, I don't want to do this. Just say what you're gonna say, or do what you're gonna do, and get it over with." He had turned back around in his chair and was facing away from her.

Taking a deep breath, she walked over and sat down next to him. "Nick, you know I know, right?"

"What? That I slept with Jess? Yeah, I know. I heard her talking to you about it on the phone."

Cece raised her eyebrows remembering the conversation. "You heard that, huh? You must be scared shitless. But, that isn't what I was talking about."

Nick just glanced over at her quizzically, using his hand to shield the sun, so he could try to read the expression on her face."

"I know how you feel about Jess. I always have." Her words were spoken matter-of-factly.

Cece waited for Nick to argue, but he just quietly nodded his head.

"Why are you pushing her away? If you heard that phone call then you know she has real feelings…"

Nick interrupted, "I don't deserve her, Cece. All I do is hurt her. I screw up everything. That's just what I do. I'm hurting her now. I can't…" He felt the words tumbling out of his mouth. He stopped before he said too much.

"Let me tell you about hurt, Nick. Hurt is pushing away the person you love. Hurt is forcing someone to move on without you. Hurt is watching the person you love the most be with someone else." Cece's eyes filled with tears. She immediately looked away, pulling her top lip into her mouth and biting down hard as her jaw began to tremble a little.

Nick was taken aback. Cece always seemed so strong and invincible. He knew about the situation with Schmidt, but he had just assumed she had moved on. Studying the hurt on her face, he realized they were a lot alike. _Would he still be hurting like this over Jess months from now? _He didn't even need to answer his question.

"Nick, don't wait too long. You don't want to watch her fall for someone else. And, stop hurting her, or I will kill you. And, you'll never see it coming." She cocked an eyebrow in his direction as she got up to leave.

He shook his head and sighed. He had just wanted five days to himself. "Ahhhhhhhh!" he yelled out in frustration. He threw his head back against the lounge chair. "Fuck," he uttered under his breath as he began to, once again, watch the sky.

He managed to avoid Jess altogether while getting ready for work. She was holed up in her room again. He knew she was hiding from him. He was relieved. He needed more time to think.

He heated a microwave burrito for dinner, and ran out the door for the bar. Leaving a half an hour earlier than normal for his 7pm shift, he wanted to take the long way to work. The walk would do him good—let him really think.

As he walked, he replayed their five days in his head. He smiled remembering their amazing Thanksgiving. She really knew him. That was a perfect day. A warm pulse flooded his body as his mind drifted to their movie day. They were so comfortable together. He shook his head saying "Walter Mathau?" aloud. She was hilarious.

The smile fell from his face as his thoughts turned to that night. Her body tight against his on the dance floor. Howling on the train car. His hands began to shake as he relived their first kiss in his head. Rubbing his hands across his eyes, he sighed deeply. That kiss…it was like something out of a damn storybook.

He laughed aloud as he stepped into a somewhat busy intersection. Then, he jumped at the sound of a car horn followed by searing pain shooting through his legs.

He had been so lost in thought, that he hadn't noticed the car coming in his direction. The driver flew out of his car, "What the hell were you doing? Are you alright?"

The guy had managed to mostly stop the car before he hit Nick, so it hurt like hell but no permanent damage done.

"Sorry, man. I'm an idiot. I'm fine. Nothing's broken."

"That's great. Stay out of the fucking road." The man was evaluating the front-end of his car to ensure that Nick hadn't left a mark.

"I said I was sorry. Back off." Nick was still gripping his legs in pain. He had limped off to the other side of the road and was sitting on the pavement.

"You sure you're alright?" The man asked getting back into his unharmed car.

"No worries." Nick waved him off. As the man pulled off down the street, he rested his forehead against his arms and began to silently cry. His life was such a damn mess. Jess might really be the death of him. But, what if he died before he ever got to touch her, kiss her again?

He hobbled up and headed back home, calling into work to let Big Bob know that he had been hit by a car. He wasn't really hurt, but he needed a good excuse, so he used it.

Finally arriving back at the loft, he entered the apartment and walked to her room without a pause. He threw her door open without knocking.

She gasped at his sudden appearance. He closed the door and, without a word, took her in his arms and began kissing her. Lost in the moment, she opened her mouth and allowed him to deepen the kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck, moaning softly against his mouth.

The combination of adrenaline from his run-in with the car combined with the passion of their kiss caused him to snap. He began pulling at her robe and guiding her toward the bed.

As her robe fell from her shoulders, Jess felt his hands begin to skim over her body. _Fire_. She became lost in his touch. She kept trying to pull herself back from him.

Running her hands down his chest, she gave a little shove and pulled her face back. Chest heaving, eyes dark with desire she asked, "What are you doing? I thought you said…"

Cupping her face, running his thumb up and down along her jaw, he slowly shook his head. "This isn't happening. It's just a dream." His voice was gruff, strained.

Their eyes locked. "Just a dream?" The vulnerability in her voice caused him to close his eyes. When he re-focused his gaze, the passion in his eyes was more than she could take. She reached up and brushed her fingers down his cheek. Nodding, she responded, "Just a dream."

Realizing that she was going along with it, he pulled her back into his arms and began kissing her once again. The hunger was too much. Their clothes were cast-off in an instant. And, as the room filled with their sighs and moans of desire, they allowed their dream to carry them away.

**Dream a Little Dream of Me**

Nick lay in the dark playing with Jess' hair. It was dark in her room, but the light from the street lamps lit the area enough that he could see the raven curls spiraling through his fingers. A small smile rested on his lips. He felt content for the first time in a week. Dropping her hair, he began to skim his fingers up and down her soft, pale arm.

"Hmmmmm…" She sighed, rolling over to face him. She playfully ran her foot up his leg.

"Oww!" He winced in pain.

"Nick, are you alright?" Jess was alarmed.

"Yeah." He let out a disgusted half laugh, half sigh. "I got hit by a car this afternoon."

"You what?" Jess yelled out as she sat up in bed.

"Jess, shhhh…The guy didn't hit me hard. It was my own damn fault. I wasn't watching the street. Look, calm down. I'm fine." He tried to soothe her back down under the covers with him by gently tugging on her hands.

"Get down here, girl. I need your comfort." He smiled and winked at her.

She shook her head and lay back down. _He's so cute_. "But, you're fine? Do you want me to take a look?" She was in full nurture mode now.

"I'm good, Jess. Just take it easy on my legs for a few days." He had resumed brushing his fingers over her skin. Feeling her shiver a little, he pulled her tightly against his body.

"So, what are you up to tomorrow, Day?" His voice was peaceful and calm.

"I have to work until four, why?" Jess could feel her eyelids getting heavier and heavier as his hands continued to lightly rub her back. The hours of passion in Nick's arms were finally catching up with her.

"I need to get some Christmas shopping done. Wanna come with?" His voice was just a whisper now.

"Sure," She yawned. And, with that, they both closed their eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Jess awoke to the sound of Schmidt tooling around in the kitchen. _Why does he have to be so loud cooking breakfast?_ Loosening Nick's grip from her hip, she flopped over to check out the time. _Bleh, 6:45_. She had wanted to stay huddled against him for a little while longer, but she had to get ready for work.

Leaning toward the edge of the bed, she suddenly felt his arm reach around her bringing her swiftly back against his chest. "Where do you think you're going?" His gruff morning voice made her smile.

"Schmidt's up. I have to take a shower because I have to get to work." She was whispering and pretending to fight against his strong arms.

Pulling her even tighter, "Fine. Take your shower. Leave me here. Alone." He turned his mouth down into a fake pout.

He released her, but she didn't move right away. Instead she turned over to study his face. _He always looks so sweet in the morning._ She ran her hands up his chest. Gazing up at him, she saw a wide smile spread across his face.

Planting a kiss on his forehead and brushing her fingers through his hair, "Okay, I'm gonna be late. I'm going," She said as she finally made her way out of bed.

Schmidt was so busy making breakfast and preparing for work that he didn't even notice Jess heading for the shower or Nick sneaking out of her room and into his own. It was a relief. Neither of them wanted to deal with Schmidt and his myriad of questions this morning. Neither of them wanted last night's spell to be broken.

Schmidt did notice when Nick appeared in the kitchen before 10am looking a bit drowsy and completely relaxed.

"Hey, hey! Somebody got some last night. It's about time too. You have been so stressed out lately. It needed to happen." Schmidt's hand was paused in the air awaiting a high five that was never going to happen.

Instead Nick just grimaced at him. "Shut up, Schmidt."

Dropping his hand back down, "So, who's the girl?"

"What girl?" Jess asked as she approached the kitchen. She was dressed in a bright red dress and warm black tights.

"Nick clearly had sex last night. Just look at those satisfied eyes." Nick continued to read the magazine he had picked up off the bar.

Jess tried to hold back a little laugh. "So, you've got a new girl, Miller?" He could hear the amusement in her voice and decided to play along.

"Yep. She's kinda obnoxious, and I can't get her to shut up. But, she's pretty and good in bed, so…" A wide toothy grin appeared on his face as he glanced up at her.

"Wow. Pretty and good in bed? What does she see in you?" Jess had mirrored his smile, a twinkle in her eye.

"I have no idea." He shook his head as Jess began to laugh. Schmidt joined in on the laughter too, not realizing the joke was really on him.

"I've got to get to work now. Nick, I hope to meet your girl soon. Jess, have a great day at work." Schmidt picked up his briefcase and headed out the door.

The minute he was gone, Nick swiveled back around to Jess, still grinning from ear to ear. "So, we still shoppin' tonight?"

"Yep. I have to get some things too. I work until four." She was gathering craft materials to put into her little teacher bag.

"I get off at seven." He grabbed her as she was walking past and placed his hands on her hips.

Shocked for a moment by his overt gesture, she quickly relaxed into his arms. _This is so nice_. "So, do you want me to just meet you at the bar at 7, then?"

"Sounds good." Still holding tightly to her hips, he slowly pulled her closer.

Giggling, she placed her hands on his shoulders. "I need to go. But, ummmm…thanks for last night."

Nick raised his eyebrows and gave her a puzzled look. "Last night? What happened last night?"

"Oh, well, I had this really great dream, and you were in it." She was slowly moving closer to him.

"Really? Was it a good dream?" His arms were now wrapped around her waist.

"The best dream ever." She was just inches from his face now.

"Glad I could be a part of it then." Reaching up into her hair, he pulled her face toward him to place a sweet kiss on her mouth. "Have a good day at work. I'll see you tonight."

Jess looked a little dazed, but got herself together enough to grab her bag and head out the door. _Best morning ever_.

Nick bit into his toast. He couldn't stop smiling. This may not last. In fact, he figured she would realize all too soon that he was a mess and run, not walk, away from him. But, he could indulge in some denial if it was going to feel this good. Yep, denial wasn't a bad thing at all.

**Photo Booths and Sewing Implements**

**A/N-This is a little racy. Not full M, but reader beware.**

Nick found himself looking at the clock far more than normal. He couldn't wait for 7 to arrive. He wanted to be cool, prepared, relaxed—like this morning. Even still, when she floated through the door at 6:45, he was so excited to see her that he spilled the whole bowl of nuts that he was refilling.

"Oops." She winked at him.

He shook his head trying to regroup and cleaned up his mess. "Is it 7 already? I thought I was still here for another hour." He was a miserable liar.

"I'm here a little early. I was hoping to grab a quick glass of wine before we head out. It was a rough day. The closer we get to Christmas break, the crazier the kids get." Jess did look a little tired.

He poured her the wine and briefly rubbed his thumb over her hand as he delivered the drink to her. A warm ripple bubbled up in her body from his touch. Feeling a tiny shudder, she smiled a thank you toward him as she took a sip.

"You finish that up, and we'll go in a few minutes." He went to close out all of his open tabs and count down his register. When he came back he plopped on the stool next to her and gave her a little grin.

"So, are you planning to hand out any of those fun, hand-made sex coupons this year?" A mischievous glint sparkled in his eyes.

"As a matter-a-fact, there is this new guy at work. He plays the ukulele and is so cute." He cocked an eyebrow at her as she began to laugh at him. "Do you think we should have him over for dinner?"

He lunged over and started to tickle her unmercifully. "You think you're so damn funny, Jessica." She was practically screaming and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"Oh, God. I give up. I give up." Breathlessly she raised her hands in the air in surrender.

"That's right. Don't forget who you're messin' with, Day. Now let's go." He took the keys from her and, placing his hand on the small of her back, they left for the mall.

It took them eleven minutes and thirty-four seconds to find a parking space. She was watching the clock the whole time. Listening to him rail on about how he was surrounded by the world's worst drivers and wanting to punch humanity in the face made Jess regret letting him drive altogether. But, he gets so antsy and grumpy when she drives. It was a lose/lose situation. She just hoped he would be in better spirits once they were done with the whole parking nightmare.

And, he was. The minute he turned off the car he was a new man. He was smiling and making sideways comments about other shoppers. Jess adored this side of Nick. Without thinking, she reached down and laced her fingers with his. He stopped talking and flinched a look in her direction. She knew, by the expression on his face, that he was uncomfortable with her overt display. She released her hand from his and wrapped her arms around her waist. _I don't get it. He was just all playful and touching me. Now I can't even hold his hand?_

Trying to keep the evening fun, Jess decided to let the hand holding thing go. Maybe he just wasn't into public displays of affection? But, she couldn't help but wonder what they were doing. _Are we dating? Are we just having some fun? What does this mean to him?_

The silence was starting to get to Nick. He knew that pulling away from her was a panic move, but he just couldn't do that. It was bad enough as it was. He was constantly counting down the minutes until she would leave him—move on to someone successful, handsome, emotionally- mature. And, being able to hold her hand and do real "boyfriend things," well that would just make that eventuality hurt even more. So, he had pulled away. And, he regretted it already, but it was what it was—self-preservation.

"Nick!" It came out more as a squeal than an actual word. "Look, a photo booth. Remember the last time we were in one of these?" She asked, excitedly walking toward the little photo station.

"Vaguely. Jess, let's just shop." Nick's mood had gone a bit south, and this wasn't helping. Now all he could picture was how incredible Jess looked at that wedding and what an ass he had made of himself.

"No. I want to take some pictures with you. Please, Nick?" She turned down her mouth into a child-like pout that was practically irresistible.

Rubbing his hand across his forehead, he knew he couldn't say no. She was doing that thing with her eyes. He could never say no when she did that thing. Nodding in a slow, resigned manner, "Fine, Jess. Then we get this shopping stuff over with. I don't want to be here much longer. I heard some kid coughing and sneezing. I don't wanna catch the flu."

"You are the crankiest boy in the world, Nick Miller. Now, get in here with me." Pulling the little black curtain open for him, she was gesturing for him to come to her immediately.

"Five dollars? Jess, this thing is robbing us blind." Placing the cash into the little slot, he seemed really put out by the whole thing. _Another damn boyfriend moment._

As he sat next to her, Jess got ready for the first pose. She leaned her head up against him and smiled. The flash went off. He turned to look at her and smiled, she smiled back. Another flash. She stuck out her tongue and he turned his mouth down into his "turtle face." The flash went off again. "Last one." Jess sighed. Nick leaned across and kissed her on the cheek. Her eyes went wide and a giant grin spread across her face. The final flash.

They exited the booth and waited for their pictures to process. When the small slip of paper popped out of the slot, she grabbed for it. Running her eyes down the pictures, she smiled again.

"These are great. Which ones do you want?" She held the photos up for his viewing.

"You keep 'em all, Jess. I mean, what am I gonna do with those?" He had started glancing around the mall trying to get his bearings, so he could figure out where to go next. He missed the disappointment on her face as she placed the pictures into her purse.

"Where to first?" She was blinking back a couple of tears. _Why is this upsetting me so much?_

"I need to get something for my Ma, Jamie, Winston and Schmidt. I haven't really had the chance to shop at all. And, I need to get everything now because we have that party on Friday, and then I leave for home. This is my last chance."

"Okay. So what do you want to get for your Mom?" She was trying to focus all of her attention on the errand at hand, so she wouldn't have to think about other, more complicated things.

"Well, I'm really bad at this. I usually just grab something from the local convenience store or something. But, I want to do something nice for her for this year with, ya know…" His voice trailed off, still uncomfortable talking about the death of his Father all of these months later.

"I completely understand. I have to go to William-Sonoma to get something for my Mom. You might be able to find something there since your Mom likes to cook too. It's over here." Gesturing toward the other side of the aisle, they started to walk together again.

Once inside the store, Nick looked completely dumbfounded. "People actually pay this much money for this stuff? I just saw a $500 toaster. I mean, come on." She smiled at his outrage.

"I am getting my Mom some of these mixes and a couple of shape tins. She loves this stuff. Their tea is really good too." Placing several items into her basket, she was studying each shelf.

"This stuff just isn't my Ma, Jess." He looked uncomfortable and out of his element.

"Let me pay for these, and then we will go look somewhere else. Don't worry. We'll find the perfect gift for her. I promise." A warm smile spread across her face making him feel instantly better about the situation. "In fact, I think I just thought of the perfect place."

After paying for her items, Jess led him into a sewing store. "She loves to sew and knit, right? Let's get her some fun new needles, yarn and maybe some thread. What do you think?"

Nodding, he looked up at her with such gratitude, "I think she will love it. Thanks, Jess."

She grabbed a basket, and they began to pilfer the appropriate shelves. When it was all said and done, he figured this would be the best gift he had ever given his mother. Watching Jess hunt for the perfect items and knowing that she wanted to help make this as special as he did warmed his heart.

After he had paid for his stuff, he grabbed his bag with one hand and reached down and took her hand with the other. Surprised, she let out a little gasp. Feeling her heart begin to pound in her chest and a blush tint her cheeks, she let the corners of her mouth turn up a little. _Don't make a big deal of it. Don't scare him off again._

"Next up, the bookstore. When all else fails, buy them a book. Or, that's what my Grandmother always told me." Jess led him to the escalator. "The Barnes & Noble is downstairs. We can look there. Sound good?"

Nick just smiled and nodded. Giving into the hand-holding thing had actually relaxed Nick. He couldn't seem to stop smiling.

As they made their way into the bookstore, Jess freed her hand and began to walk toward the music section. "Where ya goin', Jess?"

"They are having a sale on music and movies right now. I just want to look for some good deals."

"Okay. I'm gonna go look at some books. I think I know what I want to get for Winston." He gestured towards the sports section.

"Sounds good. I'll come find you later." Watching her walk to the music and movie section, Nick let out a little whistle.

"Damn." He raised his eyebrows and headed off in search of a gift for Winston.

Jess could feel his eyes lingering on her, and it sent tingles up her spine. As she started thumbing through jewel cases, all she could think about was how his fingers would occasionally brush over the soft, sensitive underside of her wrist when he was holding her hand. A warm tingle bubbled up in her body just thinking about it. Realizing she hadn't absorbed a single artist or title, she threw in the towel and headed over to find him.

She found him in the sports section. Her ballet flats were quiet on the carpet, so he hadn't heard her approach. She watched him scan the basketball shelves. Her eyes traveled up and down his body eventually resting on his very pronounced shoulder blades. Unable to hold herself back, she sidled up and skated her fingers slowly up his arm and down one of his shoulder blades, growling as her pulse quickened. Swiftly turning, he captured her hand and seeing the lust-filled look in her eyes, placed it on his chest.

She could feel his heart pounding. Her breath grew shallow. What was she doing? They were in the middle of a bookstore. He slowly backed her into the shelf behind them, his hands moving up and down her torso. He knew they should stop, but everything in him needed to taste her.

She couldn't pull her eyes from his lips. As he leaned down, her breath caught in her throat, need pulsing and throbbing throughout her body.

His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her hips tightly against his as his mouth came down on hers. Her hand fisted into his hair trying to pull him even closer. Her whole body was on fire. Without thinking, she lifted her leg up, resting her knee against his hip, his hand instantly responding by pulling her it up a little higher and grazing up the underside of her thigh.

The sensation was too much, like tiny pinpricks up and down her leg. "Oh God, Nick," She sighed. She was gasping for air. Taking advantage of her straining neck, he began to kiss across her jaw and down her neck. She dug her nails into his shoulders as his hand cupped her ass and squeezed.

"Excuse me. Excuse me. You can NOT do this in here." A very stern employee had approached and was frantically trying to get their attention.

He backed away from her, still panting, as her head fell back and rested on the shelf behind her. He ran a hand across his forehead, internally chastising himself. He had actually almost had sex with her up against a shelf in a bookstore. And, she was going to let him.

"Sorry, man. Won't happen again." He held up his hands and backed farther away from Jess. Her face was completely flushed, eyes hooded and dark, mouth parted and chest still rising and falling. What the hell had come over them?

Finally coming to her senses, Jess looked around nervously. "I'm sorry too." She looked down at the floor in embarrassment. Edging her back along the shelf, she tried to escape the enclosed area and to distance herself a bit from temptation.

"I'm gonna go look for a book for Schmidt, okay?" Nick just nodded briefly glancing up at her, a wry smile playing on his lips. As she stumbled away from the section trying to smooth down both her dress and her hair, she could still feel his hands caressing her skin. Wiping her hand across her forehead, she let out a little giggle. She hadn't felt a rush like that since she was a teenager.

Skimming through the coffee table books, Jess felt him behind her. Her breath hitched in her chest.

"That guy is watching us." His breath was warm against her still sensitive skin.

"The clerk?" She looked around and spotted him at the end of the aisle. "That is so humiliating." She buried her head in her hands. "We need to get out of here. Did you find a book for Winston?"

"Yeah. I think he'll like this." Holding up Phil Jackson's new autobiography.

Turning to look at his choice, their eyes met causing a blush to spread across her cheeks.

"Sure. Sounds good. I found this for Schmidt," flashing him a large art book titled "Fifty Years of Men's Accessories."

Instantly his mouth turned down. "Blech, Jess. No." He shook his head furiously in protest.

"Why not? Schmidt will love this." Pursing her mouth into an adorable pout and tilting her head to the side, she held the book up to his face for a better view.

"Aww, Jess, this book should have never been printed. Men should not have accessories. He'll make me listen while he talks about it. No, come on." He pushed the book away and tried not to notice how cute she looked.

Jess knew it was the perfect gift. She also really wanted to get out of that store and maybe head home to see if they might finish what they had started.

"I really think he would like it, Nick." Her voice became soft and sultry. Running a finger down the cover of the book and then down his chest while gazing up at him though her thick, black lashes. "Tell you what, if you agree to the book then I'll buy you a cookie." She gave him her flirtiest smile, taking a step closer to him.

Hearing the employee clear his throat, Nick nodded yes knowing they really needed to get out of there. "Fine. Let's get the damn book. I want an M&M cookie." Nick threw her an annoyed look.

"Done." Her mouth turned up slightly with the victory.

Walking back out into the mall, Nick placed a hand on the small of her back whispering, "I'll take that cookie now." She felt goose bumps race down her spine as his lips lightly brushed against her skin.

They hit the food court in search of his M&M cookie. Nick made a bee-line for the taco place while Jess purchased his reward. As they had left straight from work, he hadn't eaten dinner yet and was getting hungry. He was done with his food purchase first, so he grabbed a table.

"Wow, Nick, you must be really hungry." Upon realizing he had purchased 10 tacos and some chips and salsa, "Sorry, I should've thought about the fact that you were leaving straight from work. We should've eaten hours ago."

Shaking his head, Nick pulled a chair over toward him and motioned for her to sit down. "No big deal, Jess. I'm eating now." He smiled a sweet smile at her.

She sat down in the chair next to him and pulled the accessories book from the bag, starting to flip through the pages. "This is actually pretty interesting."

Turning his nose up in disgust, he decided to try to pull her attention from the book. Cocking an eyebrow, he reached down and pulled her legs into his lap. Surprised, she looked up, wide-eyed and taken aback. He grazed his fingers along her legs with one hand while finishing his dinner with the other.

Jess just gazed at him, breath heavy, as all of her nerve endings stood on end. Every now and again he would turn his focus from his food to her face, sending her a seductive grin.

Transfixed, she watched him wanting these moments to go on forever. As he crumbled up his wrappers and wiped his hands on his napkins, she let out a little sigh knowing they would be going back to the loft soon. _What would they do? Would they spend the night together again? Would he just say goodnight and head to his room? What did he want from her?_

Lowering her legs from his lap, he allowed his hand to linger on her thigh, rubbing circles into her tights. He smiled watching her eyelids flutter and her teeth bite into her lower lip. "You ready to go home, Jess?" She nodded yes, and he pulled her up from the chair, wrapping his arm around her hips as they made their way for the car.

Next to the exit, a teenage kid was demonstrating a shiny blue remote control car. A small crowd had gathered to watch some of the toy's cooler tricks.

"Oh, man. I always wanted one of those growing up. So cool." His eyes were lit up with excitement. He looked a little like a kid with a goofy grin.

"You never got one?" She was watching him rather than the demonstration.

Shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders, "Nope." He stood watching for a few more minutes. "Think I should get one for Jamie? He always wanted one too. They were way too expensive for our parents. Our neighbors had one though. We would play with that thing for hours."

"I bet Jamie would love that, Nick. Great idea." She squeezed his hand, loving the enthusiastic expression on his face.

Nick purchased a car for his little brother. Then, they walked out of the mall, still holding hands.

**Wrapping & Unwrapping the Best Presents**

**A/N—This chapter has M content. Viewer discretion is advised.**

Arriving home from their shopping trip, Nick and Jess were happy to dump their heavy bags on the counter and be done.

"I think we're alone," Jess sauntered over to Nick with a mischievous grin.

"Hmmmm…alone, huh?" He immediately wrapped her in his arms and began placing little kisses down her neck.

"I thought you wanted me to help you wrap presents, Nick? We stopped and bought wrapping paper and everything." Her voice was raspy and strained. Lacing her fingers through the soft hair at the nape of his neck, she chewed on her bottom lip enjoying the feeling of his soft mouth against her skin.

"I wanted to wrap gifts when I thought Schmidt and Winston would be here." Nick continued tasting her skin in between words.

"So, now what do you want to do, Nicholas?"

"I think I'd rather unwrap you right now, Jessica," he whispered as he picked her up and carried her into her room.

When her alarm went off the next morning, Nick groaned and threatened to throw it across the room. She loved that he was there, but was surprised by how nonchalant he had become about the other roommates discovering their little secret.

"Schmidt's gonna catch us and freak out." She whispered trailing her fingers along the curves of his sinewy bicep.

"Shhh…" he smiled, softly kissing her nose, then her cheeks, then her eyes, then finally her lips.

"I have to get ready for work." She groaned never wanting to move away from his touch again.

"No. It's the weekend." His lips began to skim across her jaw, quickening her pulse.

"Nick, no. It's Tuesday. I have to go to work." She tried to fight, but it was practically impossible when he was doing that thing with his tongue that sets her whole body on fire.

"I promise. It's the weekend. Just stay here with me. I'll make it worth your while." Nipping and grazing his teeth along her collarbone, Jess began to pant, her head nodding yes as she gave into the sensation of his warm and skillful mouth against her skin.

"Hey, Jess, you're gonna be late for work." Schmidt knocked on her door, pulling them both out the moment.

"Fuck," Nick buried his head into the pillow in frustration, gritting his teeth.

"Rain check?" Jess groaned. She would've stayed. She would've been late for work. Damn, Schmidt and his considerate wake-up call.

"I'm up, Schmidt. I'll be out in a few minutes." Her hands were fisted into her sheets. Maybe he would go away, so they could just finish? Her whole body rang with pent-up want.

"Good. Hey, is any of this stuff out here for me?" He called through the door.

"Stay out of the presents, Schmidt." She shook her head. Seeing the pained expression in Nick's eyes, she turned down her mouth in disappointment.

"I'm gonna make this up to you later." She ran her finger down his cheek.

"Yeah, you are." Sweetly kissing her lips, he relented and watched as she put on her pink robe to head out to the living room.

Quickly grabbing the bags off the counter, she tossed them into her room before heading to the bathroom for her shower. Nick stayed in her bed until they had both left for work, wishing Jess was still there with him.

That night when he got home from work, she was watching TV on the couch. He was relieved to see her. Their morning and what could have been had been on constant replay in his brain all day, so just seeing her had made him break out in a sweat.

He had never felt this way about a woman—never wanted anyone this much. Sex with Caroline had been nice enough. And, he had been with plenty of other women. But, with Jess, it was like a drug. He just couldn't get enough of her. He thought about trying to play it cool, maybe grabbing a beer and making some small talk. But, in the end, his desire won him over.

Charging over to the couch, he picked her up, eliciting a tiny squeal. "I can't stop thinking about you. I've wanted you all day long." Forcefully kissing her, he marched them into his bedroom and kicked the door closed behind him.

The rest of the week was pretty much a repeat of the day before. They would wake up together. Jess would get ready for work. Nick would either sneak her out of his room or sneak himself out of hers. They would come together as soon as he got off work, and spend the night passionately in each others' arms.

The crazy thing was he assumed that if they were just together enough then he could get her out of his system and move on. He assumed he would get sick of her or the sexual tension would somehow wane. But, it was just the opposite. The more they were together, the more he wanted her. The more time he spent with her, the more he missed her when they were apart. What the hell was going on with him?

So, on Friday, when he arrived home, and she wasn't waiting for him, he was immediately disappointed. Realizing that they had the loft to themselves, Nick decided to take a chance and made his way to her room.

"Hi," he whispered through the dark as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. His shoulders ached from work but he dismissed it casually while unbuttoning his pants quickly.

He could see her through the dark, lying on her bed in a tank top and tiny black panties. Pulling in a deep breath to calm his eagerness, he slowly walked toward her, eyes darting over to the tiny bit of her stomach peeking out from the bottom of her shirt.

Lying down next to her, he leaned over and kissed her gently and slowly on the cheek, taking in the smell of freshly washed hair while his hand found her warm skin under her shirt.

"Hi," she giggled back as his scruff tickled her neck.

"Were you just asleep? Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, I was asleep."

"Just lying like that, on top of your covers?"

"I was hot," she said back flirtatiously. "What? I was, Nick!"

"Hmmm," he answered back, tightening his hand on her skin while his teeth nipped at her earlobe. "For some reason I don't believe you, Jess, since you are usually wearing flannel pajamas in summer." He pulled his head back and looked down at her body, "I'm not complaining, trust me. I was just a little worried when I didn't see you waiting up for me."

"Oh, yeah? Did you think I had forgotten about you?" She ran her fingers across her bottom lip, knowing it would drive him crazy.

"Everything okay, Jess?" She was teasing him, but something felt off.

She shrugged her shoulders and turned her face away from him.

"Hey, baby, what's going on? Talk to me." He gently pulled at her chin, so he could see her eyes.

"Well, you're leaving tomorrow. And, I am going to miss this so much. Miss you so much. Being with you is my favorite part of the day. And, I don't know." She turned her face away from him again, but he could hear the pout in her voice.

"You think I'm not going to miss you, Jess? You think I'm not going to be miles away thinking about and dreaming about my favorite parts of your body? Or, wishing that I could just sit around and talk to you?"

Jess looked up into his sweet, brown eyes. Reaching over, she lazily traced his eyebrows then ran her finger down to his jawline. He bent down and nipped at her finger. "What are your favorite parts Nick?" she asked softly.

Smiling naughtily, "Well, right here," he moved his mouth to the place where her neck and jawline meet, "is where you make a little squeak when I kiss it."

As if on cue, Jess leaned her neck toward him, as a tiny squeak found its way out of her mouth.

He opened his mouth and licked down to her collarbone, feeling her body begin to heave slightly toward him, his hand still massaging the skin under her shirt.

"Right here, well, this is where you begin to moan," he said as he grazed his teeth along her collarbone. Instantly her hands reached into his hair, holding his head on her neck, bucking slightly off the mattress.

Nick moved farther down her body, his own breath beginning to grow deeper as he lifted up her tank top exposing her ribs and tickling her stomach with his scruff again. Kissing slowly up her, he reached her ribs and licked the canyon between them, working to steady himself as he sensed goose bumps rise under his touch. His hands now on her hips, he moaned as her legs hitched around his back. "I like how when I lick you here, your legs always wrap around me," delighting the soft valley between her ribs again with his tongue, he felt her legs tighten around his waist.

"Now right here, hmmmm… I like this spot right here. And, I like how I can feel all of the muscles in your stomach pulse the minute I bite down," he said as he bit the skin right above her hip bone, moving his hand to her stomach again so he could feel her muscles quiver at the sensation.

"Nick," Jess says in a moan, "Don't stop. Please don't stop."

He moved to the skin he saw earlier, right above her panties, tracing it with his lips, breathing fire on her skin until he felt her hips begin to push up toward him.

Sensing he was about to lose control, he clenched his teeth, focusing on his task. He reached her thighs, smooth and cool. Pulling them slightly apart he rested his body between them, rubbing his hands up and down her torso, fingers occasionally touching her nipples.

"Say it, Nick," she whispered again, "Say it."

"Right here Jess, this spot I love," he said as he gently bit into the flesh of her inner thigh causing her to growl deeply, clenching her legs tighter around his head. Releasing a groan, he bit again, closer to her now dampened panties.

"Oh god, Nick," she cried out as she twisted her hands in her blankets, holding on for dear life.

Feeling a little crazed and unable to hold back any longer, he hooked his fingers through the black cotton panties, pulling them aside and taking her fully into his mouth.

Jess' chest heaved upwards at the feeling of his mouth on her, panting, fists tightened in the blanket. "Say it, Nick, say it," she demanded.

His mind was spinning now, flashes of colors and lights. He wasn't sure what she wanted him to say, so he said the thing that was screaming over and over in his head, "Dammit, Jess, you taste so good."

At that, Jess began to tighten from her core outward, her toes cracked as her body thrust into his face. He grabbed her thighs roughly, holding her in place until slowly, she calmed, lying back down on the bed, spent.

Moving languidly back up her body, he placed a few kisses here and there along her torso. Then, he ever-so-sweetly placed a small kiss on her lips. Lying down beside her, he trailed his fingers up and down her body, enjoying how her body trembled at the gentle touch.

"Jessica, how could I not miss that?" Turning to look at him, she let out a satisfied giggle.

Playfully biting down on his shoulder, she raised her body up a little and whispered, "Thank you," in his ear.

Lying back down, she locked her eyes on his. "So, if you're going to miss me that much then we should probably try to make up for lost time tonight? Don't ya think?" She kissed him on the cheek and watched as his mouth spread into a wide grin, head nodding.

"Damn right." He growled, rolling back over toward her, determined to make this their best night yet.

**The Hardest Good-Bye**

Jess checked her make-up in the bathroom mirror one last time before heading to her room to put on this year's Christmas dress. Navy lace over white satin, a tight bodice and a full skirt—it really was the perfect dress. Zipping it up, she twirled in front of her full sized mirror, then upon closer scrutiny, her eyes went wide and she gasped. "Stupid Nick Miller."

Charging across the hallway, she threw open his door and slammed it behind her. "Nick!"

Shocked by her dramatic entrance, he turned to see what all the fuss was about and then his breath was gone. "Oh god, Jess. You look…" His eyes just lingered on her, traveling up and down her body over and over again trying to take in the view. She was just too beautiful, and he couldn't quite get a full breath.

"Really, Nick?" She walked toward him pulling at the top of her dress. Confused he stepped back. Jess was a little scary when she was angry like this. "Look at this," she demanded, pointing at a tiny bruise just above her bra.

Biting his lip, Jess saw him looking at her white lace bra, licking his lips, lust beginning to burn in his eyes. "No. Stop that. You ruined my dress, Nick. Cece and I shopped for this thing for two whole days. And, now I can't wear it because of you and this stupid hickey."

He chuckled briefly, stopping as soon as her eyes began to narrow into a rage-filled glare. Crossing his arms over his chest, he shook his head, amused.

"You don't get to be mad about this Jess. Number one, you can't even see the damn thing. It's tiny. I didn't see it until you pointed it out. And, believe me, when it comes to your breasts I'm always looking. Hard." Winking at her while trying to elicit a smile, he continued, "Second, I was not the only one to get caught up in the moment last night."

Puzzling at his words, she rolled her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means this." He shrugged off his not-yet-buttoned Oxford and pulled up his t-shirt. Looking at the red marks running up and down his back, her mouth dropped in horror. "Yeah, Jess, it burned like a son-of-a-bitch in the shower this morning too. You can't do your best alley cat impression on my back and then get pissed about a tiny hickey that no one can see."

Feeling her face go red, she shifted from one foot to the other. "Oh, Nick, I'm so sorry," she wanted to reach out and caress his abrasions—make him feel better, but she knew where that would lead, and they had no time.

Nick nodded, putting his shirt back on and started on the buttons. "Listen, Jess, that dress is perfect. You gotta wear it tonight because I wanna spend the whole night lookin' at ya in it."

She smiled and nodded, happy to have an excuse to wear it despite the barely visible skin imperfection.

"Seriously, Jess, wear it for me. That shopping trip was worth it. You look unbelievable." Draping his tie around his neck, he strolled over to her and planted a little kiss on her lips. Whispering lowly against her neck, "The scratches were worth it too. Now go finish up. We can't be late."

Jess nodded. She had personally promised Bonnie to get Nick to his flight on time, and she wasn't about to break her word—even if every part of her was dreading their separation.

"Okay, Nick. I'll be like five minutes."

Fifteen minutes later, she emerged from her room all ready to go. Waving off Nick's look of annoyance, "I know. I know. We need to go." She shrugged on her coat. Glancing over to the front door, she noticed his luggage resting against the wall. Her heart clenched for a moment with the knowledge that he would be leaving in just a few hours. She worked to shake off her sadness. She wanted tonight to be fun. Reaching into her pockets, she frowned and began to scan the room. He watched her for a moment, then, realizing what she needed, grabbed her gloves off of the bar and handed them to her.

Her mouth turned up as she placed them on her petite hands. "Thanks, Nick."

Nodding his head, "You left them there last night." She smiled and reached over to straighten his tie.

"Perfect," she said as he opened the door and ushered her out, placing his hand on the small of her back.

"You've got the address, right?" He asked, locking the door behind them.

"The invitation's in my purse." She patted her cute sequined clutch.

"Great." He hit the G button on the elevator panel then reached over and grabbed her glove-wrapped hand.

The drive to the party was relatively quick. Jess found herself a little giddy upon arriving at the house. She didn't really know the hosts very well—some work friends of Schmidt's. But, he had promised a fantastic Christmas party, and he had delivered. The whole house was lit with bright white lights. It glowed. There were evergreen wreaths with large red bows adorning each of the windows. But, she especially adored the Christmas trees of varying size placed all over the lawn, each one glowing with bright white lights. The yard smelled like a conifer forest. It was old fashioned and perfect. The only thing missing was a fresh dusting of snow on the ground, but there was no way that was going to happen in L.A.

"Oh, Nick. I love Christmas." A giant smile grew on her face, as her eyes took in the holiday splendor surrounding them.

He couldn't help but smile. He loved seeing her like this.

A look passed over his face as he rang the doorbell. Dropping her hand just as the door opened, he grinned and gestured for her to go in first.

The place was crowded with women in holiday dresses, men in suits and caterers passing around trays of champagne and appetizers. Nick saw Schmidt and Winston and made a bee-line directly for them. Jess went to look for Cece.

"Hey, girl. So, you came with Nick, huh?" Cece wore a knowing smirk.

"Not really. I mean, we drove together, but it isn't a date or anything." Jess couldn't hide her disappointment.

Watching him laugh with friends across the room, she felt a smile play across her lips. He looked so happy.

"Jess, have you talked to him about how you feel? Jess…" Cece was trying to get her attention, but she couldn't seem to pull her eyes away from Nick.

"Jess!"

"Huh?" Jess blinked as Cece finally regained her attention."

"Oh, girl. You've got it bad." Cece shook her head feeling both jealous and worried for her dear friend. Jess just sighed.

"Hey, Jess, you look beautiful tonight." Schmidt suddenly appeared at her side. Giving him a little hug, her eyes flashed over to Cece, concerned.

"Would you mind if I spoke to Cece alone for a minute?" Jess felt her eyes go wide with alarm. Glancing to Cece for confirmation, Jess saw her nod yes.

"Ummm…okay, Schmidt. Cece, I'll catch up with you in a little while." Trying to give her friend a reassuring smile, she could feel the nervous energy she was giving off as she backed away.

Then, crash. Jess felt something hard hit her back and then heard a loud boom. Turning to see what had happened, she saw one of the caterers struggling to pick up a spilled tray of champagne flutes.

"Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry," Jess moaned as she quickly fell to the floor to help clean up the mess. "I wasn't watching where I was going. Do you want me to go get a towel?"

The petite waitress just shook her head, trying frantically to clean up everything with as little attention as possible. "I just need to get this done as fast as I can. This is my second night and fourth spill." The poor woman looked distraught as tears crept into her eyes.

"I will tell your boss it's my entire fault because it was. I'm such a klutz. I'm really sorry for all of the trouble." Jess was picking up the glass and placing it on the tray.

Nick had gone to get some towels and without a word started to mop up the spilled liquid from the tile floor. Jess felt a surge of gratitude at the kind gesture. _He always takes care of me_. For the second time in less than an hour, she found she couldn't tear her eyes away from him.

"Oh, no. Ma'am, are you alright?" The waitress was holding Jess' hand as blood trickled from her finger. "I think you cut yourself on the glass."

"I didn't even feel it." Jess said, confused. The waitress' hand had been replaced by Nick's almost immediately. He was pulling her up to tend to her cut.

"I'll be right back to help you finish cleaning up. Again, I am so sorry." The waitress just smiled at Jess.

"Nick, I think I may have gotten that poor woman fired. I feel terrible." Jess kept turning back to look at the woman kneeling on the floor.

"Let's get this cleaned up, and then we can worry about her." Nick had seen the whole incident take place. He had watched as Jess and the waitress slowly backed into one another. He saw the tray fall. He saw Jess panic and try to clean everything up. He even heard Jess trying to reassure the waitress. He shook his head in a silent laugh. How can she be so beautiful and so good? Reaching the bathroom, he turned on the faucet, placing her fingers beneath the lukewarm, soft water.

She could feel so much emotion bubbling up within her, and she was trying so desperately not to let it out. She couldn't put a name on it—gratitude, trust, friendship, adoration. So many feelings. Her pulse was racing. Her eyes glued to him as he gently washed and dried her wound.

Nick looked up and could feel the emotion burning through her. Their eyes locked and her hand began to shake in his.

"You always take care of me," she choked, unable to hold it in anymore. She wanted to say so much more. The tenderness in her voice rocked him. Swallowing hard, he gritted his teeth and puffed a couple of strained breaths. He was looking for the right words, but he couldn't seem to find them.

Unable to respond he brought her finger to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on the tiny cut.

"Thank you," she whispered as she walked out of the bathroom stranding him alone with his thoughts.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he silently cursed his predicament. His heart was still pounding in his chest. If it was just lust he could handle this, but it wasn't. And, it hadn't been for a while. Slamming his hands on the marble counter, he wondered why this had happened to him.

Over the past two and a half years, she had become his best friend. Schmidt and Winston may have known him longer, but she just understood and accepted him in a way that no one else ever had. She also pushed every button he had. She made him nuts. But, he couldn't get her out of his head. "Oh, god," he sighed to himself. "What am I gonna do? I think I love her." He closed his eyes and hid in the bathroom until another guest pounded on the door needing in.

Jess wandered over to him a little while later reminding him about the time. As they made their good-byes, Jess noticed that Cece and Schmidt were still nowhere to be found. She made a mental note to call her friend tomorrow while Nick slid her coat onto her shoulders.

"Let's get you to the airport," she forced a smile. He rubbed her back a little and then placed his hand on the nape of her neck, letting his fingers tangle a little in her soft hair. Still unable to find the words, he pulled her into a tender hug and held her there wanting time to stop.

She wanted to stay in his arms forever but knew she couldn't. They were already behind schedule. If they hit traffic then he might not make his flight. Pulling back, she pointed to her watch. He quietly nodded, and they headed back to the loft for his bags.

Arriving at the airport, she hurriedly parked, and he grabbed for his luggage. How is it that he was always running late for his flight? He turned to say good-bye, but she was already out of the car. "You don't have to come in with me, Jess."

"I want to," She answered smiling sweetly. The sad glint in her eyes made his chest tighten a little.

They quickly walked to the airport check-in. She stood to the side fidgeting with her watch and pulling her hair behind her ears. The attendant handed him the boarding pass, and his eyes glanced over to Jess. His whole body lurched as the realization set in—no Jess for a whole week. Less than a month ago he was dreading spending five days with her. Now, the idea of not hearing her voice or seeing her beautiful eyes for seven days had his muscles clenched with dismay._ I don't want to leave her. _

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he held up his boarding pass with a resigned smile. "Got it. I'm all set."

Smiling back, he saw her lips tremble a little. He walked to her and set down his carry-on. Running his fingers along her cheek, he wanted to take in every second of this. Why did seven days suddenly seem like forever? Pressing a tender kiss to her lips, he pulled back to study her face for a minute more._ So beautiful. _

Resting his forehead against hers, he closed his eyes. He needed to take in everything—her scent, her soft skin, that look that she seemed to reserve only for him. His heart sped up a little as panic set in. This time the panic wasn't because he was afraid to be with her—this time he was afraid of _not_ being with her. Time was not on his side. He had to go. Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, he whispered, "Merry Christmas, Jessica." Then, without another word, he turned and walked away.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered back, knowing he couldn't hear her. Feeling the tears well up, she rushed back to the car. She was trying to hold back. She just needed to be alone, where no one could see her fall apart. When she finally reached her destination, she crawled in her seat, placed her head against the steering wheel and hugged her arms around her body. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she thought to herself, "I miss him already."

**Phone Calls and Heavy Breathing?**

Day 1:

"Hello, Nick?" Jess sat up on her bed, feeling both thrilled to hear his voice and unsure about why he was calling.

"Yeah, hey, Jess, how's it going?"

"I'm good. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's great. What? You sound weird. Did I catch you in the middle of somethin'?"

"No. I guess I'm just surprised to hear from you."

"Oh, well, I mean, I can let you go." Pinching the bridge of his nose he silently cursed himself for feeling so nervous. He wasn't some teenage kid calling a girl for the first time.

"No. I'm just painting my nails. You know, making them festive for the holiday season. They're red with Christmas trees and stars." Sitting back on the bed with a smile, she started to relax and enjoy the conversation. She had been dying to talk to him all day.

"Just another thing I'll never understand about women. Why so fancy? Anyway, what'd you do today?"

"Oh, ummmm…I had brunch with Cece. Then we did some shopping. You are never going to believe what Schmidt did."

"Oh, God. What'd that idiot do now?" Nick plopped down on his childhood bed, resting his head on a pillow.

"He bought Cece this really nice book. Apparently it was something her Father used to read her when she was a kid. I don't get it."

"I need to have a talk with him. I don't understand what he's doin' right now. Does he want to be with her or not?" Shaking his head and feeling a little angry with his friend. Damn, Schmidt.

"I know. I think it's really starting to get to her."

"I know it is. She talked to me about it."

"Wait…what? She talked to YOU about it? I've been trying to get her to open up for months. What did she say to you?"

"Just that I shouldn't push away someone because I'm scared." Did I just say too much, he wondered to himself.

"Hmmmm…" I'll need to ask Cece about that, Jess made an internal note.

"Okay, sooooo… let's move on. I'll talk to Schmidt."

"Sounds good. What'd you do today? Was Bonnie super happy to have her Nicky home?"

"Yes, and don't make fun. I mostly fixed her house. She appreciates my fancy fixing skills."

"I appreciate your fancy fixing skills, Nick. How many times have you rigged the clothes pole in my closet? Without you my dresses would live on the floor."

"I'm glad you recognize that, Jessica. I take payment in the form of cookies and cupcakes." He was grinning from ear to ear.

"Okay, well I was thinking of rewarding you in other ways, but baked goods will work too." She suppressed a laugh.

"Wait…what?" Eyes wide and mouth dropped.

"You are too easy, Miller. So, what else is blowin' in the Windy City? How's Jamie?"

"Ugghhh…he's drivin' me nuts. That kid always has food in his mouth or in his hand. Why the hell is he always eating? And, I've been here for less than 24 hours, and he's tried to fix me up with three different girls. I love 'em, but damn…"

"So, you've got three dates lined up, huh? Hmmmm…well, that's nice. You might never want to come home at that rate."

"Yep. That's a good point…"

Silence

"So, when's your date? Which girl did you pick?" The frustration and anger in her voice was evident.

"Oh, I'm goin' out with all three of 'em tonight?"

"What?!"

"Come on. You know I said no to all of 'em, right, Jess? You know I'm not here to go out with anyone, right? And, I wouldn't go out with someone Jamie would pick anyway."

"Oh…well, ummm..okay. It's just…"

"See, I had to tell him that there's this girl I like." His voice instantly grew low and flirty as he interrupted her awkward ramble.

"You like a girl?" Suddenly she realized she was sitting on the edge of her bed. When did that happen?

"mmhm."

"What's she like?"

"Crazy. Funny. Clumsy. Beautiful. Kind. I don't know. She's lots of things."

"She sounds great. Do I know her?"

"I think you might." He winked at no one.

"Maybe we can double sometime? You know, I can bring that new teacher from school?"

Shaking his head, "You're so weird. Jess, I…You're just…really somethin'." Knocking the back of his head against the bedroom wall in frustration, he had chickened out again. "It's kinda late here, Jess. I should go. Ya got anything goin' on tomorrow?"

"Not during the day, but my Christmas work party is tomorrow night."

"Sounds like fun. Well, maybe I'll try to call ya again tomorrow, okay? Good night, Jess."

"Good night, Nick." She cuddled the phone against her chest for a couple of minutes. He called. She breathed a sigh of relief.

Day 2:

"Hey, Jess. Hold on, okay? I shoulda waited to call until I was upstairs."

"Nick, are you running a race? Why are panting into the phone?"

"I don't know, Jess. What're ya wearin'?"

"What?" Her eyes went wide.

"I'm just kiddin'. I had to run up the stairs to get away from my cousins. The minute I called they started yellin' again. It's so damn loud in this house. It was nice yesterday cause it felt like home. Today it's just pissin' me off. How's stuff there?"

"Oh, good. I'm getting ready for my Christmas party. It should be fun."

"Yeah, okay. I remember you tellin' me you had that tonight. I'm gonna go see one of my old high school teachers tonight. Only teacher I ever liked."

"Nick, you know I hate it when you talk about teachers like that."

"I never had a teacher like you, Jess. I bet I would've liked school a helluva lot more if I had."

"Nick, thank you. That means a lot to me." Placing her hand over her chest, genuinely touched by the sentiment.

" Yeah, Jess, those kids are lucky to have you. Bet I would've liked school a lot more if I'd had a teacher that looked like ya too." He was grinning while slowly pacing the floor of his bedroom.

"Really? No hot teachers growing up, Nick?"

"Not like you. We had a librarian that was kinda uptight and hot, but damn, Jess, I have no idea how those boys sit in a class with you every day. I woulda lost my mind. You're just…damn." He closed his eyes picturing her lying in his bed, wrapped in his sheets.

"Hmmmm…so, are you saying that you would like me to be your naughty teacher?" She was loving this.

Groaning audibly into the phone, "Jess, I'm too far away to even think about those games. But, yes, I really would." He ran his fingers down one of the cool, slick posters hanging above his bed wishing it was her soft, silky skin.

"Now, seriously, what're ya wearin' tonight?"

"Nick!" Her grin grew even wider.

"Hey, I'm not there, and that basketball coach has had his eye on ya for a while." He couldn't believe he was feeling jealous of some fifty year old guy who spent his days in gym shorts.

"Would you've come with me? I mean, if you'd have been in town?" She swallowed hard waiting for his answer. Were they finally there?

"Yeah, Jess. That would've been nice." Really nice, he thought to himself.

"I'm wearing a red dress and a white sweater." She twirled, elated by his answer.

"I bet you look good."

"I miss you, Nick." Her heart suddenly started to ache for him.

"Me too, Jess. Have fun tonight." His voice was barely a whisper.

"I will, Nick. Night."

"Night." Placing the phone on his bedside table, he let out a deep sigh. It had only been two days, and he was starting to feel a little crazy without her. What had he gotten himself into?

Day 3:

"Nick, what time is it?" It was too early. Her eyes couldn't even focus on the alarm clock.

"Sorry, Jess. I keep forgetting about the time difference. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas."

"Wow, Nick, seriously? That's so sweet of you—at 5 o'clock in the morning." The sarcasm crept in.

"Yeah, well, we're about to open gifts here."

"You saw the ones I put in your bag, right? The one for you and for your Mom."

"Yeah, Jess. I can't believe you got somethin' for my Ma."

"Well. I made you something. Make sure that you don't mix 'em up though, Nick. There's a little somethin' extra in your package." Her voice lowered into her Judy Garland impression.

Rolling his eyes, "Must be somethin' good. You're such a little weirdo," turning up his mouth into a little smile.

"Shut up. I'm not a weirdo. You are. You're the one who called at 5am." Pretending to be affronted was hard this early.

"Listen, I need ya to go into my room and open the top drawer of my desk. That's where I hid your present." His family was yelling for him downstairs. He knew he had to wrap up this call.

"You got me a present?" She didn't mean to sound so surprised.

"What? Of course I got ya a present, silly. Haven't I got ya a present every year?" He was slightly offended that she thought so little of him.

"I know. This year is just…different."

"Yeah, it is. So, go get your gift. I mean, not while I'm on the phone, but get it later. I gotta go before Jamie pulls me down the stairs. Everyone's waitin' for me."

"Merry Christmas, Nick."

"Merry Christmas, Jess."

Jess tried to go back to sleep, but she couldn't. Finally, a sleepless hour later, she padded across the hall to his room. Scanning the room, she saw his unmade bed, clothes strewn everywhere, an empty beer bottle on his side table and an old pizza box. Her chest suddenly felt full and her heart pounded a little. She just missed him so much.

Making her way over to his desk, she noticed something on his bookshelf—a railroad spike. Their railroad spike. She opened his desk to find two small , poorly wrapped boxes with her name on them. She grabbed them and headed back to her room.

Crawling onto her bed, she took a deep breath and eyed the first box. It was a thin, rectangular package. She bit her lip and tapped her foot a little. Why was she so nervous to open this? Mustering up her courage, she ripped off the paper and opened the box.

A swift intake of air and a million butterflies later, she held the box close to her chest. "A train whistle. He got me a train whistle." It was maybe the sweetest gift she had ever been given. She wanted to immediately pick up the phone and call him, but she didn't. She still needed to open the second gift.

Running her finger across the top of the small square box, the paper felt smooth and cold. He had placed a red bow on the lid that had been squished by the top of the desk drawer. She pulled at the ribbon trying to fluff it back up into place.

Biting her lip anxiously, she flipped the box over and tore at the spot where he had taped the paper down. She sat and looked at the plain white box for a moment before lifting the lid. Then, tears-not a lot, just a few. A silver bracelet with a heart charm. It looked like something she would've bought for herself from her favorite vintage shop. It was perfect. Disbelief rang through her whole body. Nick didn't buy gifts like this. She remembered him telling her that he and Caroline always had their biggest fights on holidays and birthdays because he never knew what to get her. Well, he had certainly come through this year. Sinking her head back into the pillow, she held the bracelet up to get a better look at it. Smiling, she clasped it onto her wrist then rolled over to get some more rest.

**I want to take one more opportunity to thank MayaLala for all of her help with this story. I literally couldn't have done this without her. You are the best, friend!**


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